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Stenny's avatar

It is honestly difficult to image a more effective way to push lukewarm Catholics away from marrying in the Church while outright antagonizing devout Catholics. It is sometimes necessary to wait more than a year to marry for various reasons, but indiscriminately forcing couples to wait so long is just obnoxious.

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Clare K's avatar

I am a Millennial, and a convert to Catholicism (well, technically, a revert - baptized in the Church, raised in another faith community from then on). Permit me a couple of generational anecdotes.

(1) My husband's first attempted marriage was to a Catholic. As far as we can tell, she had no idea that as a Catholic, she had to follow special rules to get married.

(2) Most of my college friends are non-practicing Catholics - Christmas/Easter at most. Most of them aren't married yet. Those who are married, married outside the Church. We haven't kept in close touch, so I don't know whether they are innocently unaware of the Church's teachings about marriage for Catholics. However, based on previous conversations with them about the Church, I'd guess they do not in any case believe the Church has the moral authority to decide whether their marriage is valid in the eyes of God or not. (The one wedding I attended, their "Scripture Reading" was Kennedy's Obergefell decision. No, it wasn't a gay wedding. It was a statement wedding.)

(3) My brother, like me, was baptized Catholic as a small child and then raised in our mom's faith tradition. Apparently, neither Mom nor Dad knew that baptizing us into the Church gave us rights and responsibilities - I think they both were under the impression that it would be Confirmation that would place us under the Church's authority. So my brother's marriage is probably invalid, and he has no idea - and again, I don't think he would take it seriously if I told him, because he doesn't believe the Church has the authority to place that responsibility on him when he was never raised in the church.

So, out of the 6 baptized Catholics in my generation whose marriage situations I have personal knowledge of, I'm the only one who went through the proper channels, and I have good reason to believe I'm the only one who *knew/acknowledged that there was such a thing as a proper channel*.

Marriage catechumenate, for those already engaged, is a great idea that does not solve the actual problem.

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