In the end Fr. Costello seems braver and more courageous and accountable than his bishop. Even if behind the scenes the bishop forced his resignation, this is not transparency. I continue to pray for the healing of his directee and his reparation and conversion of heart. May God heal those hurt and those who repent 🙏
"Seems" is the key word. When I think about the two alleged Shakespeare actors in Huckleberry Finn (who went from town to town with one scam or another, leaving ahead of the mob, until finally their reputation preceded them), to make a gracious speech, resign one's position, and leave town before being run out of it on a rail is something that a repentant person might do, and it is also something that a merely pragmatic person might do. So although the bishop set a low bar, I don't know if I can compare the two meaningfully. Prayer is a good idea.
I concur with the prayers. But he is not a brave man for this. Bravery would be actually confessing to how wrong his actions have been, especially that nothing about this relationship was consensual, and seeking laicization.
Until his Bishop speaks - and I loathe moral relativism - he is relatively braver and at least more conscionable than his bishop who re-assigned him to active parish ministry.
“Two months after the woman reported the relationship, Costello was placed on a six month leave, with the Raleigh diocese saying in a March 2024 email to priests that Costello’s actions were “consensual” and between adults..”
Brave!? This has happened 3 previous times, and this is the time he regrets as the worst mistake of his life…because he was caught and his actions made so public!
Thank you, Pillar, for bringing this situation to light.
Hopefully Fr Steven can find some place to serve as a priest where he will have the necessary supervision, not be doing any more spiritual direction, and not be in any kind of leadership or public-facing role.
Thank you to The Pillar for your reporting and to the woman for sharing her story. God bless the next priest to pastor that parish; that may be a challenging assignment.
I lament that it is still only after being exposed by the press that many (most?) of these clergy express contrition and resign from positions of leadership. This guy was sent away for some kind of extensive treatment that had it been successful would have resulted in his taking these steps prior to public humiliation.
Exactly. Few bishops will take any accountability or be transparent at all unless the secular media (or in this case The Super Duper Pillar) forces them.
I’m not sure his Diocese or bishop agrees with you…
“Two months after the woman reported the relationship, Costello was placed on a six month leave, with the Raleigh diocese saying in a March 2024 email to priests that Costello’s actions were “consensual” and between adults..”
Well, no. Consensual and between adults is a code phrase for "a sin but not a crime". No sin, no leave. If it was a crime there would be letters to the judge "be lenient in sentencing, he is a good person and has done many good things and this was a temporary lapse in judgment and he will never do it again" like we see in the financial stories. But the judge here is the court of public opinion and in these modern times a married woman is the same as an eligible young lady looking for a man: a priest of course should not get involved with either, and if he does he will receive a very stern talking to; very stern indeed. We only take sin seriously if it is also a crime and then we also do not take it seriously.
Although the priest was abusive and should resign (and a canonical case should be started against him to determine his final punishment), there is little doubt this case is a major failure in modern marital relations, where a wife does not confide to her husband for 3 years about a priest discussing with her things only a boyfriend would discuss with his girlfriend, and a highly perverted boy friend who should be dumped immediately. I would feel betrayed if my wife did not tell me something like this for three years. If a husband and wife don't confide nearly everything to each other (except spiritual issues that are only discussed in the confessional--and that does not include text messages from and to a priest), then their marriage is very weak. I don't know how naive this woman was (she was not a clueless teenager), but if my wife did this I would be curious whether she may have been somewhat amused by this exclusive interest in her and she only turned to her husband when it really got creepy. I really feel sorry for the husband, who seems to me as the greatest victim of this whole case (unless maybe he was so distant from her that she did not trust him). Anywhichway, such a marriage needs major help.
The husband has made his choice to behave like a true Catholic Chad husband and stand by his wife and support her. Presumably they are getting the help they need. He's setting a much better example for how a Catholic husband should act than you are with your comment.
That is wonderful that he is supporting her, even after she hid the truth from him for 3 years. That is what a good Catholic marriage is about and I hope she learns the important lesson that man and woman are one in marriage and there should not be any major secrets between them. She would have suffered a lot less if she had informed her husband about every single text and every single meeting with the priest. I don't even want to mention to you what my wife thought about the situation when she heard about this case. She was much less charitable in regards to the wife than I am. But don't tell me that the husband was not deeply hurt by the fact his wife did not inform him about this earlier. I would hope the wife would be equally supportive of him if he had been receiving romantic and suggestive texts from a woman and had been groped by her in personal meetings for 3 years and he did not tell his wife about it.
Hey, let's not speculate about the marriage of two people we only know anything about because they made the hard choice to come forward about abuse. It's just not our business.
Well, it is important because it is not just about the marriage, but also about a priest-- was he always a perv or did he feel the woman was interested and fell (like priests especially can because they are Satan's primary target) because she kept meeting with him and did not block his texts. I know in our liberal world the man is always 100% at fault, but I don't buy that if everyone has equal rights. The bishop implied it could have been consensual and therefore it is important to look at why a married woman did not report this for 3 years. If she was an unmarried teenager or she had reported the priest as soon as he sent her a romantic text or touched her where no man should except her husband, then there would be no doubt she is entirely innocent. But before we kick a priest out of any ministry (which he does seem to deserve) we should at least look at all the circumstances that led to it.
As Cally said, this is not our business. And also, uncharitable comments/ gossip about how victims' marriages or spouses must be deficient in some manner is another big reason why victims hesitate to report this type of abuse, because it causes gossip and speculation that is not only hurtful to the victim but also to their spouse and family. If we want to actually encourage reporting and stop predators, we need to do our part and refrain from shaming those brave enough to report them.
But it is our business to attack a priest without getting the full picture. In the U.S., it is easier to be the prosecutor than the defense attorney, and that is why America has more prisoners than any other country, because you are automatically an evil villain/predator if you commit anything wrong. Yet the degree to which this priest should be punished depends on what happened. We have become a society where a priest has no rights and can be easily thrown in the dumpster whereas a lay man would be able to redeem himself after this simply by moving to another region of the country. The priest is automatically black as coal in guilt and the other person, a mature adult fully capable of making decisions, is snow white in innocence, free of any responsibility whatsoever. If the story is public, then the debate is legitimate, as we are not dealing here with a child or a mentally disabled adult.
But it may have bearing on determining the degree of guilt by the priest and the priest has a right to defend himself. Just don't dare be charitable to the priest and want justice for him as well. I think the bishop would have removed the priest immediately if he thought the case was as clear cut as some "charitable" readers of the Pillar think it is.
Thank you for your hard work on exposing this sad story. May God have mercy on him, and may more horrible stories like this come to light so that these sad, sad priests are stopped.
If no canonical case is initiated, does the bishop get “a free pass” on his failure simply because he never responded to the Pillar (insane as that may sound)?
I’m astounded that some of these comments condemn the victim and never (or very implicitly) mention the canonical failure of the diocese and bishop. That is quintessential church “blame the victim” and tells me the church will never recover from this abyss… I pray, but…..
I read this a couple times and am still confused: Fr. Costello was banned by the president of their university, but he was apparently still okay for diocesan ministry. Can the Legion comment on that?
There’s definitely inconsistency there, you’re right. I’m curious if the LC priest/president of the university made that decision on his own, or if it was decided by someone higher up in the Legion.
DMU almost certainly only banned Fr. Costello when Raleigh first heard the news in early 2024. I worked at DMU until fall 2019 and Fr. Costello was working there in good standing when I left.
I feel terrible for the woman and her husband. I worked distantly with Fr. Costello at DMU - he was a pleasant guy, and it's sad this is where things went.
I think the Legion of Christ deserves to take a hit as well. I have several friends who spent time in LC formation and it really screwed them over.
Now, the local bishop needs to resign. These "past actions" wouldn't exist if bishops were more interested in salvation of souls rather than the saving the skins of deviant priests.
Bishops in this country and abroad just do not get how serious the threat is to the church's mission by allowing predator bishops and priests back into parish ministry. Mercy is necessary, however, do not be stupid (yes, stupid) in how the mercy is applied.
The Pillar creating accountability is what keeps me subscribed.
me too.
In the end Fr. Costello seems braver and more courageous and accountable than his bishop. Even if behind the scenes the bishop forced his resignation, this is not transparency. I continue to pray for the healing of his directee and his reparation and conversion of heart. May God heal those hurt and those who repent 🙏
"Seems" is the key word. When I think about the two alleged Shakespeare actors in Huckleberry Finn (who went from town to town with one scam or another, leaving ahead of the mob, until finally their reputation preceded them), to make a gracious speech, resign one's position, and leave town before being run out of it on a rail is something that a repentant person might do, and it is also something that a merely pragmatic person might do. So although the bishop set a low bar, I don't know if I can compare the two meaningfully. Prayer is a good idea.
I concur with the prayers. But he is not a brave man for this. Bravery would be actually confessing to how wrong his actions have been, especially that nothing about this relationship was consensual, and seeking laicization.
Until his Bishop speaks - and I loathe moral relativism - he is relatively braver and at least more conscionable than his bishop who re-assigned him to active parish ministry.
The diocese of Raleigh, not the priest, characterized the relationship as *consensual*!!! 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️
“Two months after the woman reported the relationship, Costello was placed on a six month leave, with the Raleigh diocese saying in a March 2024 email to priests that Costello’s actions were “consensual” and between adults..”
Brave!? This has happened 3 previous times, and this is the time he regrets as the worst mistake of his life…because he was caught and his actions made so public!
Why don’t you ask his bishop why he was reinstated to pastoral ministry? My point was he was RELATIVELY braver than his diocese and bishop.
Bishop Zarama had experience as defender of the bond for the archdiocese of Atlanta - a position he assumed in 1996.
Any commenters here asserting by their own personal judgement that this was a “weak marriage” should perhaps defer to the Bishop if he ever speaks up?
Thank you, Pillar, for bringing this situation to light.
Hopefully Fr Steven can find some place to serve as a priest where he will have the necessary supervision, not be doing any more spiritual direction, and not be in any kind of leadership or public-facing role.
And where might that placement be with no leadership or public-facing role? Running out of desk jobs and monestaries.
He belongs to a religious congregation with a wide presence, they should be able to figure something out.
Thank you to The Pillar for your reporting and to the woman for sharing her story. God bless the next priest to pastor that parish; that may be a challenging assignment.
I lament that it is still only after being exposed by the press that many (most?) of these clergy express contrition and resign from positions of leadership. This guy was sent away for some kind of extensive treatment that had it been successful would have resulted in his taking these steps prior to public humiliation.
Exactly. Few bishops will take any accountability or be transparent at all unless the secular media (or in this case The Super Duper Pillar) forces them.
“… worst mistake of my life”
What the priest did were not mistakes; they were sins.
I’m not sure his Diocese or bishop agrees with you…
“Two months after the woman reported the relationship, Costello was placed on a six month leave, with the Raleigh diocese saying in a March 2024 email to priests that Costello’s actions were “consensual” and between adults..”
Well, no. Consensual and between adults is a code phrase for "a sin but not a crime". No sin, no leave. If it was a crime there would be letters to the judge "be lenient in sentencing, he is a good person and has done many good things and this was a temporary lapse in judgment and he will never do it again" like we see in the financial stories. But the judge here is the court of public opinion and in these modern times a married woman is the same as an eligible young lady looking for a man: a priest of course should not get involved with either, and if he does he will receive a very stern talking to; very stern indeed. We only take sin seriously if it is also a crime and then we also do not take it seriously.
You are correct. What was the mistake? That sounds like a bank robber being sorry he got caught rather than being sorry he robbed the bank.
Although the priest was abusive and should resign (and a canonical case should be started against him to determine his final punishment), there is little doubt this case is a major failure in modern marital relations, where a wife does not confide to her husband for 3 years about a priest discussing with her things only a boyfriend would discuss with his girlfriend, and a highly perverted boy friend who should be dumped immediately. I would feel betrayed if my wife did not tell me something like this for three years. If a husband and wife don't confide nearly everything to each other (except spiritual issues that are only discussed in the confessional--and that does not include text messages from and to a priest), then their marriage is very weak. I don't know how naive this woman was (she was not a clueless teenager), but if my wife did this I would be curious whether she may have been somewhat amused by this exclusive interest in her and she only turned to her husband when it really got creepy. I really feel sorry for the husband, who seems to me as the greatest victim of this whole case (unless maybe he was so distant from her that she did not trust him). Anywhichway, such a marriage needs major help.
The husband has made his choice to behave like a true Catholic Chad husband and stand by his wife and support her. Presumably they are getting the help they need. He's setting a much better example for how a Catholic husband should act than you are with your comment.
That is wonderful that he is supporting her, even after she hid the truth from him for 3 years. That is what a good Catholic marriage is about and I hope she learns the important lesson that man and woman are one in marriage and there should not be any major secrets between them. She would have suffered a lot less if she had informed her husband about every single text and every single meeting with the priest. I don't even want to mention to you what my wife thought about the situation when she heard about this case. She was much less charitable in regards to the wife than I am. But don't tell me that the husband was not deeply hurt by the fact his wife did not inform him about this earlier. I would hope the wife would be equally supportive of him if he had been receiving romantic and suggestive texts from a woman and had been groped by her in personal meetings for 3 years and he did not tell his wife about it.
Hey, let's not speculate about the marriage of two people we only know anything about because they made the hard choice to come forward about abuse. It's just not our business.
Well, it is important because it is not just about the marriage, but also about a priest-- was he always a perv or did he feel the woman was interested and fell (like priests especially can because they are Satan's primary target) because she kept meeting with him and did not block his texts. I know in our liberal world the man is always 100% at fault, but I don't buy that if everyone has equal rights. The bishop implied it could have been consensual and therefore it is important to look at why a married woman did not report this for 3 years. If she was an unmarried teenager or she had reported the priest as soon as he sent her a romantic text or touched her where no man should except her husband, then there would be no doubt she is entirely innocent. But before we kick a priest out of any ministry (which he does seem to deserve) we should at least look at all the circumstances that led to it.
As Cally said, this is not our business. And also, uncharitable comments/ gossip about how victims' marriages or spouses must be deficient in some manner is another big reason why victims hesitate to report this type of abuse, because it causes gossip and speculation that is not only hurtful to the victim but also to their spouse and family. If we want to actually encourage reporting and stop predators, we need to do our part and refrain from shaming those brave enough to report them.
But it is our business to attack a priest without getting the full picture. In the U.S., it is easier to be the prosecutor than the defense attorney, and that is why America has more prisoners than any other country, because you are automatically an evil villain/predator if you commit anything wrong. Yet the degree to which this priest should be punished depends on what happened. We have become a society where a priest has no rights and can be easily thrown in the dumpster whereas a lay man would be able to redeem himself after this simply by moving to another region of the country. The priest is automatically black as coal in guilt and the other person, a mature adult fully capable of making decisions, is snow white in innocence, free of any responsibility whatsoever. If the story is public, then the debate is legitimate, as we are not dealing here with a child or a mentally disabled adult.
The story about the priest’s abuse is public. Not the victim’s marriage life with her husband.
But it may have bearing on determining the degree of guilt by the priest and the priest has a right to defend himself. Just don't dare be charitable to the priest and want justice for him as well. I think the bishop would have removed the priest immediately if he thought the case was as clear cut as some "charitable" readers of the Pillar think it is.
I appreciate your comments here; you’re absolutely correct, and charitable as well.
Thank you for your hard work on exposing this sad story. May God have mercy on him, and may more horrible stories like this come to light so that these sad, sad priests are stopped.
If no canonical case is initiated, does the bishop get “a free pass” on his failure simply because he never responded to the Pillar (insane as that may sound)?
I’m astounded that some of these comments condemn the victim and never (or very implicitly) mention the canonical failure of the diocese and bishop. That is quintessential church “blame the victim” and tells me the church will never recover from this abyss… I pray, but…..
I read this a couple times and am still confused: Fr. Costello was banned by the president of their university, but he was apparently still okay for diocesan ministry. Can the Legion comment on that?
There’s definitely inconsistency there, you’re right. I’m curious if the LC priest/president of the university made that decision on his own, or if it was decided by someone higher up in the Legion.
DMU almost certainly only banned Fr. Costello when Raleigh first heard the news in early 2024. I worked at DMU until fall 2019 and Fr. Costello was working there in good standing when I left.
I feel terrible for the woman and her husband. I worked distantly with Fr. Costello at DMU - he was a pleasant guy, and it's sad this is where things went.
I think the Legion of Christ deserves to take a hit as well. I have several friends who spent time in LC formation and it really screwed them over.
So grateful that your reporting has already lead to the resignation of the offender. Keep up the good work!
Nice!
Now, the local bishop needs to resign. These "past actions" wouldn't exist if bishops were more interested in salvation of souls rather than the saving the skins of deviant priests.
Bishops in this country and abroad just do not get how serious the threat is to the church's mission by allowing predator bishops and priests back into parish ministry. Mercy is necessary, however, do not be stupid (yes, stupid) in how the mercy is applied.
Journalism at its finest. Excellent job, and I am glad my subscription goes to work like this.
Everyone else involved deserved better from the Bishop who at once demonstrated negligence in the care of the victim, the parish, and Fr. Costello.