"And how wonderful to have known a person so free, so utterly given, that she could let herself be loved without any risk of even a shadow of ambiguous attachment".
Yep, that is it in one sentence. Chastity is receiving and giving love with attaching anything to the gift of one's self--no strings, without any attempt to use the other person for my perceived benefit. Chastity is hardest in marriage, I think, where the temptation to use one's spouse can prevail in the banal, ordinary days of the rigors of family life.
Chastity is receiving and giving love without attaching anything to the gift of one's self--no strings, without any attempt to use the other person for my perceived benefit, only giving.
Thank you for this interview. The book sounds good. I shall get it.
To live a chaste life successfully requires God's grace. If we rely on our own efforts, chastity becomes a heavy burden. With God's grace, chastity is a joy and a precious pearl of great price.
I actually want to hone in on one of the last comments Bishop Varden made: "the ability freely to enjoy God’s gifts refined through human endeavor is part of a chaste, whole, eucharistic life."
This actually helps with a concern I've had recently over the justice of enjoying good things, especially when those things (like beer, fried food, or technology) have gone through extensive human refinement. But Bishop Varden reminds us (or at least me), that the products of human ingenuity are still ultimately gifts from God, in the raw materials and in our having the intelligence and capacity to produce them. This turns away from a dualistic view that would see enjoying such things as too earthly, when in fact they represent, in however small a way, God's goodness suffusing through everything we do—after all, how could we make beer if we lacked rational souls to figure out agriculture and fermentation? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to thank God for video games and rye whiskey.
Another holy endorsement of alcoholic pleasure (as if the wedding feast at Cana were not sufficient approval). Indeed, both sex and alcohol are areas where self control and moderation are all important. Having seen the horrible consequences of alcoholism while working at a local food kitchen, I have not abandoned wine or beer. Alcohol and monasteries are long time companions - Buckfast wine, Trappist beer......
A few hundred yards south of where I live, "The Moderation" is a pub with a name which is unusual even in a country stuffed with odd pub names. I gather it was born out of a Victorian reforming impulse to correct the appalling consequences of alcoholism, but without inflicting total abstinence pledges on everyone.
And the painful fruits of infidelity are all around me, with divorces and their impact on children and the wider family circles. A whole half of a family circle which ought to provide love, support and companionship is suddenly alienated. So I was very pleased to see the Bishop drawing out the deeper meaning of chastity as it affects all areas of life.
I had never really considered the possibility of a Catholic pilgrimage to Norway, (there may have been a couple of pilgrimages to Viking Norway in our past), I bet I can sell this to my Norwegian-American husband without to much trouble. Maybe ,"The Pillar" should consider making this their first reader Pilgrimage.
Certainly the Catholic population is thin on the ground. In Bergen, the second largest city with around 300,000 people, there is only one Catholic Church, St Paul's, with an adjacent Catholic elementary school. When I went to the English Mass there in 2014, the celebrant was a young Vietnamese priest. The lady beside me was American. Apart from the Vietnamese, there is the Chilean Spanish speaking community and the Poles. They have initiatives such as Catholic summer camps to educate and retain the teens. But there are places where you would be a long way from any sizeable Catholic community. I think the nearest Catholic Church from Bergen is in Stavanger, 130 miles to the south.
My husband and I went to Mass in Bergen back in 1992 while on one of our "Viking Pilgrimages". I don't remember the name of the church, but I guess it was St. Paul's. The Mass was in Norwegian. We would happily move to Norway and expand the Catholic population, but a Norway is on of the few countries that does not grant citizenship to the children of people born there(my late father-in-law was born in Grimstad).
“When theologians and clergy speak of sexual morality and chastity, one sometimes gets the impression that they have never themselves inhabited, for any length of time, a human body.”
So very true and a line that, in large part, pushed me into preordering his book. Looking forward to reading it when it comes out.
How wonderful to have this monk bishop who "gets" the totality and integrity of the Christian life. It cannot only be summed up in syllogisms and externals but must permeate all things in life.
Bishop Varden preached our annual monastic retreat some years back. He was wonderful. A very inspiring background, a great speaker and presenter. He seemed very devout and down to earth. I hope we have him again.
This is probably my favorite piece I’ve ever read here. In my own life marked by addictive behaviors, I found a type of back-door dualism present in the 12 step programs that are, unfortunately, regarded by many as the gold-standard for long term treatment and renewal for many vicious habits pertaining to the flesh. I never messed with any of the sex groups, but know that young men and seminarians are often referred to them for porn and what not.
Basically what it boils down to is a lack of emotional intelligence, imo. This goes way beyond sexuality obviously. I’m going to get this Bishops book to see if it may shed some light in this area of my own life.
Thank you Bishop. This is a profound meditation and explication on the Catechism's teaching: "Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman" (CCC # 2337)
When first meeting my wife I thought of her as an Angel. While dating her I thought of her as a Princess who I needed to possess . Our early marriage years were the usual blessings and curses that all couples go through as we see each other more and more as God see's us . 5 children and the duties and responsibilities that are part and parcel of raising godly children inserts chastity into a marriage . That unintended chastity was a gift from God that has grown and matured us spiritually too anxious pilgrims of one flesh . In filling up our 50th year of married life we look forward to living and teaching our 18 grandchildren a chaste path back home to our creator. Thank you Bishop Varden and Pillar for putting clarity and words to our journey.
This is very interesting. We should all be in this comments section and not the one where everyone actually is.
The swirling fear of doctrine "developing" before our eyes is less scary.
Signed,
Someone far too attached to desires of the flesh
"And how wonderful to have known a person so free, so utterly given, that she could let herself be loved without any risk of even a shadow of ambiguous attachment".
Yep, that is it in one sentence. Chastity is receiving and giving love with attaching anything to the gift of one's self--no strings, without any attempt to use the other person for my perceived benefit. Chastity is hardest in marriage, I think, where the temptation to use one's spouse can prevail in the banal, ordinary days of the rigors of family life.
Try that one more time
Chastity is receiving and giving love without attaching anything to the gift of one's self--no strings, without any attempt to use the other person for my perceived benefit, only giving.
Thank you for this interview. The book sounds good. I shall get it.
To live a chaste life successfully requires God's grace. If we rely on our own efforts, chastity becomes a heavy burden. With God's grace, chastity is a joy and a precious pearl of great price.
I actually want to hone in on one of the last comments Bishop Varden made: "the ability freely to enjoy God’s gifts refined through human endeavor is part of a chaste, whole, eucharistic life."
This actually helps with a concern I've had recently over the justice of enjoying good things, especially when those things (like beer, fried food, or technology) have gone through extensive human refinement. But Bishop Varden reminds us (or at least me), that the products of human ingenuity are still ultimately gifts from God, in the raw materials and in our having the intelligence and capacity to produce them. This turns away from a dualistic view that would see enjoying such things as too earthly, when in fact they represent, in however small a way, God's goodness suffusing through everything we do—after all, how could we make beer if we lacked rational souls to figure out agriculture and fermentation? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to thank God for video games and rye whiskey.
Another holy endorsement of alcoholic pleasure (as if the wedding feast at Cana were not sufficient approval). Indeed, both sex and alcohol are areas where self control and moderation are all important. Having seen the horrible consequences of alcoholism while working at a local food kitchen, I have not abandoned wine or beer. Alcohol and monasteries are long time companions - Buckfast wine, Trappist beer......
https://buildingcatholicculture.com/brewing-monks-a-list-of-the-worlds-monastic-beers/
A few hundred yards south of where I live, "The Moderation" is a pub with a name which is unusual even in a country stuffed with odd pub names. I gather it was born out of a Victorian reforming impulse to correct the appalling consequences of alcoholism, but without inflicting total abstinence pledges on everyone.
And the painful fruits of infidelity are all around me, with divorces and their impact on children and the wider family circles. A whole half of a family circle which ought to provide love, support and companionship is suddenly alienated. So I was very pleased to see the Bishop drawing out the deeper meaning of chastity as it affects all areas of life.
Papabile.
We can only hope and pray
I had never really considered the possibility of a Catholic pilgrimage to Norway, (there may have been a couple of pilgrimages to Viking Norway in our past), I bet I can sell this to my Norwegian-American husband without to much trouble. Maybe ,"The Pillar" should consider making this their first reader Pilgrimage.
Certainly the Catholic population is thin on the ground. In Bergen, the second largest city with around 300,000 people, there is only one Catholic Church, St Paul's, with an adjacent Catholic elementary school. When I went to the English Mass there in 2014, the celebrant was a young Vietnamese priest. The lady beside me was American. Apart from the Vietnamese, there is the Chilean Spanish speaking community and the Poles. They have initiatives such as Catholic summer camps to educate and retain the teens. But there are places where you would be a long way from any sizeable Catholic community. I think the nearest Catholic Church from Bergen is in Stavanger, 130 miles to the south.
My husband and I went to Mass in Bergen back in 1992 while on one of our "Viking Pilgrimages". I don't remember the name of the church, but I guess it was St. Paul's. The Mass was in Norwegian. We would happily move to Norway and expand the Catholic population, but a Norway is on of the few countries that does not grant citizenship to the children of people born there(my late father-in-law was born in Grimstad).
“When theologians and clergy speak of sexual morality and chastity, one sometimes gets the impression that they have never themselves inhabited, for any length of time, a human body.”
So very true and a line that, in large part, pushed me into preordering his book. Looking forward to reading it when it comes out.
How wonderful to have this monk bishop who "gets" the totality and integrity of the Christian life. It cannot only be summed up in syllogisms and externals but must permeate all things in life.
Bishop Varden preached our annual monastic retreat some years back. He was wonderful. A very inspiring background, a great speaker and presenter. He seemed very devout and down to earth. I hope we have him again.
I definitely want to hear more of this!!
This is probably my favorite piece I’ve ever read here. In my own life marked by addictive behaviors, I found a type of back-door dualism present in the 12 step programs that are, unfortunately, regarded by many as the gold-standard for long term treatment and renewal for many vicious habits pertaining to the flesh. I never messed with any of the sex groups, but know that young men and seminarians are often referred to them for porn and what not.
Basically what it boils down to is a lack of emotional intelligence, imo. This goes way beyond sexuality obviously. I’m going to get this Bishops book to see if it may shed some light in this area of my own life.
Pillar Pilgrimage to Norway: "Bishop, Blessing, Beer." Great fundraising opportunity, Pillar folk. Don't let it go by! 😉
I'm very grateful this man is a shepherd of the Church. Thanks, Pillar, for featuring him so regularly.
How do we get some of those "fulgurant exceptions"?
Thank you Bishop. This is a profound meditation and explication on the Catechism's teaching: "Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman" (CCC # 2337)
When first meeting my wife I thought of her as an Angel. While dating her I thought of her as a Princess who I needed to possess . Our early marriage years were the usual blessings and curses that all couples go through as we see each other more and more as God see's us . 5 children and the duties and responsibilities that are part and parcel of raising godly children inserts chastity into a marriage . That unintended chastity was a gift from God that has grown and matured us spiritually too anxious pilgrims of one flesh . In filling up our 50th year of married life we look forward to living and teaching our 18 grandchildren a chaste path back home to our creator. Thank you Bishop Varden and Pillar for putting clarity and words to our journey.