Probably your email address was provided wrong to Evite, either through your mutual friend's error or the host's typo. Since your mutual friend has told you explicitly that you are shown on the invite list, I think you're well within the realm of politeness to reach out with a message (perhaps by email, since that was how the invitation was supposed to be sent, and which also lessens the forwardness as compared to a phone call) saying:
"Hello host, Mutual Friend asked whether we are attending the gathering at your home tonight based on seeing our names on the invitation list. Unfortunately, there must have been a technical glitch of some sort--we never received the Evite! We hate to think you might have thought us too be rudely unresponsive. If it is too late to RSVP and attend, we completely understand, but if it wouldn't cause your any trouble, we would be happy to come!
Please let us know, and please accept our apologies for the last-minute confusion! Yours, The Condons"
Easy peasy. Just make sure your mutual friend gives you the host's correct email!
Ed, lighten up and go to the party. You might have some fun and meet new people. If you don’t like said party, the baby is always a good excuse to leave early.
I look forward to reading the "'Just War' no more?" article. I find the complete failure of diplomacy in this war very interesting. While Russia is clearly the aggressor, it seems that the demands that Ukraine stay out of NATO and not host missile systems are reasonable. I'm not familiar enough to know if these are the only demands in place though, and they don't feel like a justifiable reason for war.
In cases like this, I wonder is there some duty or obligation by outsiders to avert the war and just concede the demands? NATO members could simply drop the possibility that Ukraine could ever be a member. For that matter, Ukraine could have done the same and not pursued NATO. This wouldn't be leaving Ukraine under control of Russia, though it would limit their freedom to make certain decisions related to their borders.
I pray the war will end quickly without further escalation, for those that have been killed, and those that have had their homes and livelihoods destroyed. The Knights of Columbus have distributed a "Novena for the Consecration of Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary" as well, to be prayed leading up to the consecration by the Pope.
I detest so-called "e-vites." The proper way is to receive a handwritten invitation, written with a nib pen in perfect calligraphy, together with a similarly handwritten RSVP card with return postage envelope enclosed. That way, I can formally RSVP "Thank you, but no" without any regrets or guilt.
"The party is tonight. While I’m told there will might be beef." Friday, beef? No go. As to the broader effort to train you into a lesser misanthrope, pffffft. Evites are the social equivalent of the auto-pen-signed "personal invitation" from a politician to his/her fundraiser, intended to only boost the numbers in the room. As in, "Let's just invite everyone and either be happy the ones we actually know and like show, or we have enough people to ensure no leftover egg salad or store-bought guacamole." Even in this electronic age, a personal email of invitation ("I hope you don't mind, So and So shared your email with me so that I could invite you to what I expect will be an amazing party even if I know your Catholic and am serving a joint of beef on a Friday in Lent.") would have been appropriate and avoided this public display of ... I don't know what to call it. As to excuses, as I have experienced first hand, baby or spousal illness is also a great out.
I am with you. I wouldn't go to a party if I hadn't received an invite. Don't worry about it. Saint Theresa said that true humility is not caring when someone says something nice about you or when someone says something bad about you. Happy Feast of Saint Joseph for your first time as a dad!
This one is easy. Show up in jeans and a T shirt, with a warm six pack of the cheapest beer you can find. Maybe have a few drinks before showing up and leave the wife and kid at home. If you get invited back they are friends if not who cares, you already didn't care, what's the loss? For extra points play up the Catholic card real big and make noise about meat on a Friday in Lent.
We host often. If it were a personal invitation via evite, the host would have followed up with you. With electronic invitations, it doesn't quite work to assume the invitation was received anymore. You're off the hook. Should you ever encounter the person again and hear, "we missed you at..." you can say honestly, "Oh I never received an invitation." If your friend who gave them your email address cares so much, he can give them your phone number and they can contact you.
Don't have gone (it's Saturday). Years ago a friend encouraged me to attend a squadron tea (Officers' Wives) to which I had not received an invitation. She said because of the recent change in squadrons I must have been missed. My husband was TDY and I couldn't consult him about the accuracy of that. So I went. She was mistaken. The hostess looked surprised when I showed up but was a perfect dear. In spite of the fact that I felt pretty lame for being there objectively it was the best tea I had ever attended. Still...
There are a couple of reasons why the "evite" (what a dreadful word) hadn't arrived. The email standard being used is not reliable - that is, delivery is not guaranteed and non-delivery is not notified. Also the sender may have got the email address wrong by one character and it was silently discarded. Or, if you have an email filtering service it may have been considered spam and again silently discarded.
As for showing up to the party, this highlights one of the difference between England and other countries in the Commonwealth. In Australia not turning up would be considered rather rude but inconsequential. Turning up uninvited to such things is usually fine if you are entertaining. I am unable to comment for the mores in the United States, but from the comments it would seem that it would be expected that you turn up.
Probably your email address was provided wrong to Evite, either through your mutual friend's error or the host's typo. Since your mutual friend has told you explicitly that you are shown on the invite list, I think you're well within the realm of politeness to reach out with a message (perhaps by email, since that was how the invitation was supposed to be sent, and which also lessens the forwardness as compared to a phone call) saying:
"Hello host, Mutual Friend asked whether we are attending the gathering at your home tonight based on seeing our names on the invitation list. Unfortunately, there must have been a technical glitch of some sort--we never received the Evite! We hate to think you might have thought us too be rudely unresponsive. If it is too late to RSVP and attend, we completely understand, but if it wouldn't cause your any trouble, we would be happy to come!
Please let us know, and please accept our apologies for the last-minute confusion! Yours, The Condons"
Easy peasy. Just make sure your mutual friend gives you the host's correct email!
Ed, lighten up and go to the party. You might have some fun and meet new people. If you don’t like said party, the baby is always a good excuse to leave early.
I look forward to reading the "'Just War' no more?" article. I find the complete failure of diplomacy in this war very interesting. While Russia is clearly the aggressor, it seems that the demands that Ukraine stay out of NATO and not host missile systems are reasonable. I'm not familiar enough to know if these are the only demands in place though, and they don't feel like a justifiable reason for war.
In cases like this, I wonder is there some duty or obligation by outsiders to avert the war and just concede the demands? NATO members could simply drop the possibility that Ukraine could ever be a member. For that matter, Ukraine could have done the same and not pursued NATO. This wouldn't be leaving Ukraine under control of Russia, though it would limit their freedom to make certain decisions related to their borders.
I pray the war will end quickly without further escalation, for those that have been killed, and those that have had their homes and livelihoods destroyed. The Knights of Columbus have distributed a "Novena for the Consecration of Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary" as well, to be prayed leading up to the consecration by the Pope.
I detest so-called "e-vites." The proper way is to receive a handwritten invitation, written with a nib pen in perfect calligraphy, together with a similarly handwritten RSVP card with return postage envelope enclosed. That way, I can formally RSVP "Thank you, but no" without any regrets or guilt.
"The party is tonight. While I’m told there will might be beef." Friday, beef? No go. As to the broader effort to train you into a lesser misanthrope, pffffft. Evites are the social equivalent of the auto-pen-signed "personal invitation" from a politician to his/her fundraiser, intended to only boost the numbers in the room. As in, "Let's just invite everyone and either be happy the ones we actually know and like show, or we have enough people to ensure no leftover egg salad or store-bought guacamole." Even in this electronic age, a personal email of invitation ("I hope you don't mind, So and So shared your email with me so that I could invite you to what I expect will be an amazing party even if I know your Catholic and am serving a joint of beef on a Friday in Lent.") would have been appropriate and avoided this public display of ... I don't know what to call it. As to excuses, as I have experienced first hand, baby or spousal illness is also a great out.
I am with you. I wouldn't go to a party if I hadn't received an invite. Don't worry about it. Saint Theresa said that true humility is not caring when someone says something nice about you or when someone says something bad about you. Happy Feast of Saint Joseph for your first time as a dad!
This one is easy. Show up in jeans and a T shirt, with a warm six pack of the cheapest beer you can find. Maybe have a few drinks before showing up and leave the wife and kid at home. If you get invited back they are friends if not who cares, you already didn't care, what's the loss? For extra points play up the Catholic card real big and make noise about meat on a Friday in Lent.
Ed, save yourself. Don’t go and don’t offer any excuses.
Best newsletter yet. Earned a paid subscription! Hit the party, stay away from the beef.
Don’t go. They’ll get over it, if they notice. Enjoy an evening with your family.
We host often. If it were a personal invitation via evite, the host would have followed up with you. With electronic invitations, it doesn't quite work to assume the invitation was received anymore. You're off the hook. Should you ever encounter the person again and hear, "we missed you at..." you can say honestly, "Oh I never received an invitation." If your friend who gave them your email address cares so much, he can give them your phone number and they can contact you.
Don't have gone (it's Saturday). Years ago a friend encouraged me to attend a squadron tea (Officers' Wives) to which I had not received an invitation. She said because of the recent change in squadrons I must have been missed. My husband was TDY and I couldn't consult him about the accuracy of that. So I went. She was mistaken. The hostess looked surprised when I showed up but was a perfect dear. In spite of the fact that I felt pretty lame for being there objectively it was the best tea I had ever attended. Still...
There are a couple of reasons why the "evite" (what a dreadful word) hadn't arrived. The email standard being used is not reliable - that is, delivery is not guaranteed and non-delivery is not notified. Also the sender may have got the email address wrong by one character and it was silently discarded. Or, if you have an email filtering service it may have been considered spam and again silently discarded.
As for showing up to the party, this highlights one of the difference between England and other countries in the Commonwealth. In Australia not turning up would be considered rather rude but inconsequential. Turning up uninvited to such things is usually fine if you are entertaining. I am unable to comment for the mores in the United States, but from the comments it would seem that it would be expected that you turn up.