It's delightful that we can do it and when I found out that we can, I started doing it. Baptism class taught us some things but not "hey did you know you can bless your kids and here's why"... all this practical stuff I learned on the internet.
What is the effect if someone tries to bless something that is sinful? In other words, because God does not help one to sin, would it simply have no effect? Or will God potentially turn it around and use it for the betterment of the people involved by changing the circumstances so that the intention of the person doing the “blessing” is reversed?
For example, let’s say someone were to try to bless a getaway car that would be used in a bank robbery (maybe they try to justify it by saying they will give 10% of the loot to the poor so the bank robbery is “really a good thing”…)…is it possible for the blessing to make the battery die so that the getaway driver never gets to the bank and never successfully helps commit the crime?
Either way, I assume that if one knowingly tries to bless something for sinful use, that that is a sin in and of itself…after all, God could kill the battery whether or not the car were “blessed” if he wanted….
it looks like the door is already wide open for whatever is going to save the souls of the people using the car, and if they are listening to the prayer perhaps it would occur to them to want some of what it talks about (one thing prayer does is to change our hearts).
But suppose the guy who tried to poison St Benedict was like "Let's bless this poison: God, I ask you to make this poison super toxic, and also, don't let this annoying guy vomit it back up; I want him to die of it. Amen." That would be a very targeted and hardhearted prayer; Jesus can keep knocking but right now the guy is not at home to visitors. But God does not tire of putting us in situations where we have to ask for things, and something else will come along.
Having thought about the matter, I see no reason why chaste couples should not be blessed in their friendship and called away from sin. The agape between two people of the same sex is surely something that could be sanctified.
I wonder if there could be a class of blessing reserved for lay people, just to make sure they are not misrepresented as sacraments, and protect priests from the traps where people want a priestly blessing with flowers, in a Church with an organist followed by a reception, and would complain to the media if they didn't get it.
I have been thinking about this in the past week. I still don't think it's a great idea for reasons of scandal and confusion among other things. But I know there are gay people who try to live a chaste life, and some of them do so as couples (I used to read someone's blog who was attempting it - I think they were Orthodox). I don't want people who are trying to live according to God's laws to feel shut out and second-class... it can lead them to walk away even when they didn't want to. If only we could have a sincere conversation with and about folks like that, and about how to invite and support more people into that decision, without the whole thing being co opted.
What is a chaste homosexual couple? What 'couples' them ? Is the implication that chastity only consists in the area of physical relations? To look at it from another point of view, would we consider a married heterosexual man or woman to be doing something chaste if they "coupled' all their affections, emotional desires, even finances etc to someone who was not their wife or husband? Wouldn't the spouse have legitimate cause for grievance? Now on the other hand, one could point to brothers and sisters who live together in that close bond without it raising the question of it being some sort of unchaste incestuous relationship. Is it possible that that gives a clue to a difficulty same sex attraction actually causes? Clearly it affects the person in their ability to establish a heterosexual marriage according to God's plan for marriage, but does it also damage the ability to establish appropriate chaste fraternal bonds with those of the same sex, or at least those to whom we feel attracted? I think a key point here is that even a chaste 'couple' are seeking to appropriate the exclusivity of the marriage bond, and apply it to a fraternal relationship. But if we are all brothers and sisters in the Lord, if everyone is my neighbour, is that exclusivity appropriate there? And would a formalisation of the exclusive bond, by a blessing even for two people not engaged in a physical relationship, still not be an attempt to couple them in a bond only appropriate to marriage.?
There is no such thing, in Catholic anthropology, as a homosexual couple. I would never use that term because homosexuality is objectively disordered. A husband and wife do form such a bond, so close friendships outside it are not at all wise. But there is close male friendship, I am thinking here of the friendship between St John Henry Newman and Ambrose St John, but also of a couple of men who come to mass in my parish every week. Now, any erotic understanding of this friendship is a temptation to sin, so must be avoided, but the agape between two single people is a source of great joy.
My whole thinking would be to devise a blessing that is akin to a grace before meals, that calls friends to avoid sin and live a virtuous life. The whole point would be to avoid the kind of blessing that is a nudge-nudge-wink-wink-marriage. So there is no question of exclusivity, or even hinting at an erotic bond. But one lay person blessing another seems to me like might have a kind of benefit.
One analogue could be a man and woman, who have young children together but cannot marry each other because they are still part of a previous marriage (and for argument's sake, let's say they've investigated annulment but turns out their first marriages are valid) Assuming serious reasons - the Church foresees a situation where they could keep living together, sharing a household, sharing finances for the good of the children - but also be committed to living chastely "as brother and sister". It doesn't seem totally unreasonable that such a pair might ask God's blessing on the (non marriage) relationship that they do have - not in a "celebrate the ideal" way, but in a very real, ask God to be present and work all things for good in this less-than-ideal relationship
The foundations of the existing teaching are very well understood to refer to sexuality as the exchanging body parts, in complementarity. Now when someone refers to sexuality, in a secular setting, it typically refers to that + the ways in which people relate to one another. It’s more dynamic and to some extent informs the person of the way they see the world. That is not what our current expression of doctrine attempts to explain, which is why so many bishops and theologians have called for further clarity.
Not sure that some commenters realize what an existential crisis it is for the Catholic Church to de facto recognize, approve and even bless homosexual acts. Just because the gates of hell shall not prevail against the Church, there's no reason to believe that the Church can't go through many years, decades or perhaps even centuries of tremendous darkness, despair and sin. If the Church is willing to heap approbation and blessings upon a relationship that is predicated on two people engaging in homosexual acts together, why not blessings for brothels? Pornographic movie studios? Or maybe abortion providers and their clinics? I know that some of the hierarchy that believes that a Church that "finally gets with the times" will regain its relevance in the modern world, but the opposite is true. A Church that wraps itself in the rainbow flag will be committing institutional suicide
Is there a type of blessing that serves to draw sinners away from their temptations? For example, do we want gluttons to say grace before meals? Does that bless the gluttony, or draw the diner away from it? If someone who has a habit of watching pornography blesses their computer, is it not in order that they might resist the temptation? Even if they fall, the blessing is still holy.
So I agree with you that blessing any sin is catastrophic, maybe we can find a form of blessing that seeks to build up close friendships while resisting the temptation to immoral acts.
For clinics we do prayers of exorcism (after hours when no one is there to watch); I have seen it done once. Also holy water on the door and windows - I had to stop doing this after the RvW overturn because they are a lot more on edge now and I will not risk touching their rental property; but I used to do it quite openly at the end of my prayer shift, as one applies insect repellent in places where there are going to be a lot of bugs (except instead demons.)
The Protestants, lacking sacramentals, organize a "Jericho walk" around the block sometimes.
Very well said. I particularly agree with your comment that the Church may experience long times of great darkness. During those times, I expect that the Church in Africa and other third world nations will survive and prosper, where the Church is North America and Europe will wither .
If blessing them could help same-sex couplies to live in chastity by avoiding sinful acts, let it be. But I wonder if there is any such situation. It is quite naive to think so because homosexuality and chastity does not make a happy couple.
The situation there is not analogous. The man and woman described have children, the fruit of a 'coupling', which was in itself disordered; the bond created by the existence of the child, and the superior claim of the child on the lives of its parents, does however endure. Living chastely as brother and sister, this man and woman can perpetuate this situation only for the sake of the existing children; it continues to be wound to the marriages they have to other people. When the needs of the child are met, for example when the child reaches adulthood, the bond dissolves, as there is no legitimate 'coupling' which exists between the man and woman other than that created by the existence of the child.
"Some Catholics have the custom of blessing their children, or tracing a cross with holy water in their homes."
Every parent should bless their children. That's how you assure their well-being, full stop.
It's delightful that we can do it and when I found out that we can, I started doing it. Baptism class taught us some things but not "hey did you know you can bless your kids and here's why"... all this practical stuff I learned on the internet.
I have always blessed my kids, still do (sign of the cross on the forehead) and sometimes other kids as well :-). What are fathers for?
Bless you for this story Michelle!
Thank you! Very informative!
What is the effect if someone tries to bless something that is sinful? In other words, because God does not help one to sin, would it simply have no effect? Or will God potentially turn it around and use it for the betterment of the people involved by changing the circumstances so that the intention of the person doing the “blessing” is reversed?
For example, let’s say someone were to try to bless a getaway car that would be used in a bank robbery (maybe they try to justify it by saying they will give 10% of the loot to the poor so the bank robbery is “really a good thing”…)…is it possible for the blessing to make the battery die so that the getaway driver never gets to the bank and never successfully helps commit the crime?
Either way, I assume that if one knowingly tries to bless something for sinful use, that that is a sin in and of itself…after all, God could kill the battery whether or not the car were “blessed” if he wanted….
If he is reading a general car blessing from the internet
https://www.catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=198
it looks like the door is already wide open for whatever is going to save the souls of the people using the car, and if they are listening to the prayer perhaps it would occur to them to want some of what it talks about (one thing prayer does is to change our hearts).
But suppose the guy who tried to poison St Benedict was like "Let's bless this poison: God, I ask you to make this poison super toxic, and also, don't let this annoying guy vomit it back up; I want him to die of it. Amen." That would be a very targeted and hardhearted prayer; Jesus can keep knocking but right now the guy is not at home to visitors. But God does not tire of putting us in situations where we have to ask for things, and something else will come along.
This is very helpful and informative, thank you.
Having thought about the matter, I see no reason why chaste couples should not be blessed in their friendship and called away from sin. The agape between two people of the same sex is surely something that could be sanctified.
I wonder if there could be a class of blessing reserved for lay people, just to make sure they are not misrepresented as sacraments, and protect priests from the traps where people want a priestly blessing with flowers, in a Church with an organist followed by a reception, and would complain to the media if they didn't get it.
I have been thinking about this in the past week. I still don't think it's a great idea for reasons of scandal and confusion among other things. But I know there are gay people who try to live a chaste life, and some of them do so as couples (I used to read someone's blog who was attempting it - I think they were Orthodox). I don't want people who are trying to live according to God's laws to feel shut out and second-class... it can lead them to walk away even when they didn't want to. If only we could have a sincere conversation with and about folks like that, and about how to invite and support more people into that decision, without the whole thing being co opted.
What is a chaste homosexual couple? What 'couples' them ? Is the implication that chastity only consists in the area of physical relations? To look at it from another point of view, would we consider a married heterosexual man or woman to be doing something chaste if they "coupled' all their affections, emotional desires, even finances etc to someone who was not their wife or husband? Wouldn't the spouse have legitimate cause for grievance? Now on the other hand, one could point to brothers and sisters who live together in that close bond without it raising the question of it being some sort of unchaste incestuous relationship. Is it possible that that gives a clue to a difficulty same sex attraction actually causes? Clearly it affects the person in their ability to establish a heterosexual marriage according to God's plan for marriage, but does it also damage the ability to establish appropriate chaste fraternal bonds with those of the same sex, or at least those to whom we feel attracted? I think a key point here is that even a chaste 'couple' are seeking to appropriate the exclusivity of the marriage bond, and apply it to a fraternal relationship. But if we are all brothers and sisters in the Lord, if everyone is my neighbour, is that exclusivity appropriate there? And would a formalisation of the exclusive bond, by a blessing even for two people not engaged in a physical relationship, still not be an attempt to couple them in a bond only appropriate to marriage.?
There is no such thing, in Catholic anthropology, as a homosexual couple. I would never use that term because homosexuality is objectively disordered. A husband and wife do form such a bond, so close friendships outside it are not at all wise. But there is close male friendship, I am thinking here of the friendship between St John Henry Newman and Ambrose St John, but also of a couple of men who come to mass in my parish every week. Now, any erotic understanding of this friendship is a temptation to sin, so must be avoided, but the agape between two single people is a source of great joy.
My whole thinking would be to devise a blessing that is akin to a grace before meals, that calls friends to avoid sin and live a virtuous life. The whole point would be to avoid the kind of blessing that is a nudge-nudge-wink-wink-marriage. So there is no question of exclusivity, or even hinting at an erotic bond. But one lay person blessing another seems to me like might have a kind of benefit.
One analogue could be a man and woman, who have young children together but cannot marry each other because they are still part of a previous marriage (and for argument's sake, let's say they've investigated annulment but turns out their first marriages are valid) Assuming serious reasons - the Church foresees a situation where they could keep living together, sharing a household, sharing finances for the good of the children - but also be committed to living chastely "as brother and sister". It doesn't seem totally unreasonable that such a pair might ask God's blessing on the (non marriage) relationship that they do have - not in a "celebrate the ideal" way, but in a very real, ask God to be present and work all things for good in this less-than-ideal relationship
This is my view as well
The foundations of the existing teaching are very well understood to refer to sexuality as the exchanging body parts, in complementarity. Now when someone refers to sexuality, in a secular setting, it typically refers to that + the ways in which people relate to one another. It’s more dynamic and to some extent informs the person of the way they see the world. That is not what our current expression of doctrine attempts to explain, which is why so many bishops and theologians have called for further clarity.
Not sure that some commenters realize what an existential crisis it is for the Catholic Church to de facto recognize, approve and even bless homosexual acts. Just because the gates of hell shall not prevail against the Church, there's no reason to believe that the Church can't go through many years, decades or perhaps even centuries of tremendous darkness, despair and sin. If the Church is willing to heap approbation and blessings upon a relationship that is predicated on two people engaging in homosexual acts together, why not blessings for brothels? Pornographic movie studios? Or maybe abortion providers and their clinics? I know that some of the hierarchy that believes that a Church that "finally gets with the times" will regain its relevance in the modern world, but the opposite is true. A Church that wraps itself in the rainbow flag will be committing institutional suicide
Is there a type of blessing that serves to draw sinners away from their temptations? For example, do we want gluttons to say grace before meals? Does that bless the gluttony, or draw the diner away from it? If someone who has a habit of watching pornography blesses their computer, is it not in order that they might resist the temptation? Even if they fall, the blessing is still holy.
So I agree with you that blessing any sin is catastrophic, maybe we can find a form of blessing that seeks to build up close friendships while resisting the temptation to immoral acts.
Amen, amen, amen.
> Or maybe abortion providers and their clinics?
For clinics we do prayers of exorcism (after hours when no one is there to watch); I have seen it done once. Also holy water on the door and windows - I had to stop doing this after the RvW overturn because they are a lot more on edge now and I will not risk touching their rental property; but I used to do it quite openly at the end of my prayer shift, as one applies insect repellent in places where there are going to be a lot of bugs (except instead demons.)
The Protestants, lacking sacramentals, organize a "Jericho walk" around the block sometimes.
Very well said. I particularly agree with your comment that the Church may experience long times of great darkness. During those times, I expect that the Church in Africa and other third world nations will survive and prosper, where the Church is North America and Europe will wither .
Very informative. May I suggest that your next article be “What is a ‘definitive statement’ anyway?”
If blessing them could help same-sex couplies to live in chastity by avoiding sinful acts, let it be. But I wonder if there is any such situation. It is quite naive to think so because homosexuality and chastity does not make a happy couple.
Thank you for this article!
The situation there is not analogous. The man and woman described have children, the fruit of a 'coupling', which was in itself disordered; the bond created by the existence of the child, and the superior claim of the child on the lives of its parents, does however endure. Living chastely as brother and sister, this man and woman can perpetuate this situation only for the sake of the existing children; it continues to be wound to the marriages they have to other people. When the needs of the child are met, for example when the child reaches adulthood, the bond dissolves, as there is no legitimate 'coupling' which exists between the man and woman other than that created by the existence of the child.