I visited this community. So grateful I heard from these outspoken women and so very glad there will be a visitation. Some of the sisters were the sweetest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and I pray for them often
Thanks for covering this. I think Fr. Dysmas de Lassus's book should be required reading for religious communities! I believe the Dominicans (eastern province) did a book study on it last year.
I'm almost as saddened by the fact that this doesn't shock me in the slightest as I am by what is actually reported. It's truly heartbreaking and a counter-witness how frequently and regularly groups and individuals who are most visibly and radically committed to the Gospel are shot through with spiritual, psychological, and emotional pathologies.
"She recalled . . . being instructed to clean, cook, and eat rotting vegetables — even while 'the canons and the superiors were always served the freshest food.'"
"the women’s community is positioned often in roles of servitude and deference toward the Institute, its priests and seminarians."
Sounds like the synod's report of "women’s participation in the life and leadership of the Church" came not a moment too soon.
"The women also noted that the community’s superior is not chosen by the sisters themselves, but appointed by the superior of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest."
So somehow women picking another woman would ensure …. Women who never abuse authority?
Can’t we just admit that men and women both fall victim to the same temptations of spiritual abuse and abuse of authority and stop pretending one is better able to “self govern” than another? 🙄
I’m a woman. Ive been one for 42 years. I’ve been educated in a single sex environment (pry 3? 4? Male faculty but the entire admin and leadership 100% female). I’ve met other women. I’ve had bosses both male and female. I’ve had good male and female and I’ve had bad. Trust me. It’s just called concupiscence.
It is a common monastic practice to refrain from correspondence, even with family, in Advent and Lent. But a kind superior will know when to make exceptions. My sister is a cloistered nun, in a rather "traditional" convent. Her birthday falls in Lent each year and she has always been allowed a phone call with the family for her birthday, as is customary for a sister's birthday.
She has been given guidance about how to handle writing and receiving letters while keeping her monastic vocation primary, but she has never expressed any limitation on what she is able to say. And, in fact, she has felt free to share things that she did not always agree with, or topics at the monastery on which there is not universal agreement.
yes, i think it is often difficult to distinguish between ordinary strictures of religious life and their abuse or exploitation. but that makes it all the more important for the holy see to do so, it seems to me.
One of the difficulties here, as I see it, is that "you'll eat it and you'll like it" was a notable characteristic of a recent papacy.
Ironically, said pontificate emphasised 'synodality' - a watchword to some, a scandal to others.
To me synodality is nothing other than a requirement to listen and inform our intellects, as we're required to inform our consciences, before acting.
Neither 'informing' seems to be happening in this community, though no side of the story is complete, and I have no connection and thus nothing else to offer but this:
Of your charity, pray for all those involved, and for our (still relatively new) pope.
As a parent... I think it would be great if the Pillar got some experts (like Fr. Berg and maybe the Sisters of the Little Way and maybe you know some others) and wrote a "how to tell if this religious community is healthy" kind of thing.
If my kid wants to be religious, great, but I want them grounded in "x, y, and z are red flags" and "this is what healthy and unhealthy obedience looks like" and that kind of thing so they're prepared to recognize abuse if it happens. I don't want them to try to give their lives to God and "discover" in the process that God can't love them. That kind of thing takes so long to root out and I want my kids to know that God loves them.
I've talked to other parents who have said things like "I want to be happy if my kid wants to be religious, but..." and these kinds of abusive situations are cited. I think a lot of parents (and prospective religious) would appreciate a guide that you guys could put together.
I second this! My daughter feels the attraction of religious life, and I want our family to know what to look for and what questions to ask if/when she's called to pursue that.
I'm also curious about what these former postulants and novices knew about this community before they entered and how much time they had spent around other communities, to help them figure out what parts of their experience were truly just the difficulty of adapting to a new environment, vs the parts that were truly abusive.
if you haven't listened to the sisters of the little way podcast, that would be a good place to start. I'm not an expert in this area but I found their podcast really informative. it's called "Descent into Light."
I have, thank you! I also found it very informative, but about some of the ways that things can and do go wrong in religious communities. A Pillar explainer about what proper obedience to a superior means, or an interview or piece about a growing religious community would be helpful in setting out what a good novitiate is like.
It’s mentioned in the article but you should read “Abuses in religious life,” by Carthusian superior general Fr. Dysmas de Lassus. His sister experienced spiritual abuse in her religious order and he did a lot of research.
While there are some red flags the difficult truth is group dynamics change over time. It’s possible to enter a healthy movement that becomes controlling. It requires discernment for sure.
-Interesting that the ICKSP is spiritually Salesian, and obviously connected to the French school of spirituality some of which was a direct reaction to Jansenism.
-Jansenism and its excessive rigorism is precisely what de Sales fought against.
-There seems to be some Jansenism in the descriptions in this article.
Assuming that the allegations are true and that the reporting is accurate, there is much here that infuriates. As someone who has taught Spanish for over 35 years at the university level, I can say with full confidence that the lack of formal instruction in the French language coupled with the demand that the women, in isolation, teach themselves French from books and then speak exclusively in French in the community is, to put it mildly, unreasonable. That is not how any adult learns a language well. I am familiar with the sort of young woman who in good faith ends up in these types of situations, and I just would like to exhort parents not to raise compliant, submissive girls. Raise independent women who know their own value and will not allow themselves to be mistreated by anyone.
Not totally related to the article, but I listened to this article being read. Is this feature an AI generated voice? I ask because at one point “Saint Francis Delaware Sales” was mentioned.
I would like to know because I despise the use of AI and will not use this feature in the future if it is AI.
Yes it was offered in the app. I didn’t recognize the voice so I wondered. Next time I’ll just wait when I have time to read or listen if it’s one you all have recorded. Thanks for answering my question! This was such an important article. Will be praying for these women and following the story as it develops.
Thank you so much for covering this. For every religious community where the spiritual abuse is serious enough to burst to the surface and be acknowledged by the outside, there are several more where it is just serious enough to destroy lives but not serious enough to be believed over and against the smiling faces, zeal, and orthodoxy of the community. Please keep following this thread.
Thanks for publishing this! I've actually taken notes over the last few years on all the high-profile abuse cases you've covered (especially ones that began with coercion and manipulation in a spiritual direction setting) and noticed a number of common red flags. Without getting into any details publicly, I'll just say your reporting has helped me to help others in similar situations such as this article. So, thanks.
The mother superior's response stood out to me as well; it was not surprising but somehow still shocking to read about her handwaving away these allegations after making few attempts to address the women themselves. It looked like a classic DARVO response.
I happen to know a young lady who had a similar experience with this order. You all may or may not have had her input for this. What happened to her matches so much of what is said here, unfortunately. How terrible.
I visited this community. So grateful I heard from these outspoken women and so very glad there will be a visitation. Some of the sisters were the sweetest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and I pray for them often
Thanks for covering this. I think Fr. Dysmas de Lassus's book should be required reading for religious communities! I believe the Dominicans (eastern province) did a book study on it last year.
Some further accounts of what some of the novices allege can be read at /u/MorningByMorning51's profile on reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/user/MorningByMorning51/comments/1rqg3ji/testimonies_of_four_women_who_left_the_sister/
https://www.reddit.com/user/MorningByMorning51/comments/1rqfvz0/summary_of_the_rule_of_the_sister_adorers_icksp/
I just read this a couple days ago, so I was kind of floored to read this article today (and happy word got out)!
I'm almost as saddened by the fact that this doesn't shock me in the slightest as I am by what is actually reported. It's truly heartbreaking and a counter-witness how frequently and regularly groups and individuals who are most visibly and radically committed to the Gospel are shot through with spiritual, psychological, and emotional pathologies.
Lord, deliver your Church from every and all instances of the plague of spiritual abuse. And soon, please God!
"She recalled . . . being instructed to clean, cook, and eat rotting vegetables — even while 'the canons and the superiors were always served the freshest food.'"
"the women’s community is positioned often in roles of servitude and deference toward the Institute, its priests and seminarians."
Sounds like the synod's report of "women’s participation in the life and leadership of the Church" came not a moment too soon.
Except women being in charge of this solved zero problems?
"The women also noted that the community’s superior is not chosen by the sisters themselves, but appointed by the superior of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest."
So somehow women picking another woman would ensure …. Women who never abuse authority?
Can’t we just admit that men and women both fall victim to the same temptations of spiritual abuse and abuse of authority and stop pretending one is better able to “self govern” than another? 🙄
I’m a woman. Ive been one for 42 years. I’ve been educated in a single sex environment (pry 3? 4? Male faculty but the entire admin and leadership 100% female). I’ve met other women. I’ve had bosses both male and female. I’ve had good male and female and I’ve had bad. Trust me. It’s just called concupiscence.
Yeah, this is all women doing this to other women and not letting the priests be told what things are actually like.
It is a common monastic practice to refrain from correspondence, even with family, in Advent and Lent. But a kind superior will know when to make exceptions. My sister is a cloistered nun, in a rather "traditional" convent. Her birthday falls in Lent each year and she has always been allowed a phone call with the family for her birthday, as is customary for a sister's birthday.
She has been given guidance about how to handle writing and receiving letters while keeping her monastic vocation primary, but she has never expressed any limitation on what she is able to say. And, in fact, she has felt free to share things that she did not always agree with, or topics at the monastery on which there is not universal agreement.
yes, i think it is often difficult to distinguish between ordinary strictures of religious life and their abuse or exploitation. but that makes it all the more important for the holy see to do so, it seems to me.
One of the difficulties here, as I see it, is that "you'll eat it and you'll like it" was a notable characteristic of a recent papacy.
Ironically, said pontificate emphasised 'synodality' - a watchword to some, a scandal to others.
To me synodality is nothing other than a requirement to listen and inform our intellects, as we're required to inform our consciences, before acting.
Neither 'informing' seems to be happening in this community, though no side of the story is complete, and I have no connection and thus nothing else to offer but this:
Of your charity, pray for all those involved, and for our (still relatively new) pope.
As a parent... I think it would be great if the Pillar got some experts (like Fr. Berg and maybe the Sisters of the Little Way and maybe you know some others) and wrote a "how to tell if this religious community is healthy" kind of thing.
If my kid wants to be religious, great, but I want them grounded in "x, y, and z are red flags" and "this is what healthy and unhealthy obedience looks like" and that kind of thing so they're prepared to recognize abuse if it happens. I don't want them to try to give their lives to God and "discover" in the process that God can't love them. That kind of thing takes so long to root out and I want my kids to know that God loves them.
I've talked to other parents who have said things like "I want to be happy if my kid wants to be religious, but..." and these kinds of abusive situations are cited. I think a lot of parents (and prospective religious) would appreciate a guide that you guys could put together.
I second this! My daughter feels the attraction of religious life, and I want our family to know what to look for and what questions to ask if/when she's called to pursue that.
I'm also curious about what these former postulants and novices knew about this community before they entered and how much time they had spent around other communities, to help them figure out what parts of their experience were truly just the difficulty of adapting to a new environment, vs the parts that were truly abusive.
if you haven't listened to the sisters of the little way podcast, that would be a good place to start. I'm not an expert in this area but I found their podcast really informative. it's called "Descent into Light."
I have, thank you! I also found it very informative, but about some of the ways that things can and do go wrong in religious communities. A Pillar explainer about what proper obedience to a superior means, or an interview or piece about a growing religious community would be helpful in setting out what a good novitiate is like.
Agreed!!
It’s mentioned in the article but you should read “Abuses in religious life,” by Carthusian superior general Fr. Dysmas de Lassus. His sister experienced spiritual abuse in her religious order and he did a lot of research.
While there are some red flags the difficult truth is group dynamics change over time. It’s possible to enter a healthy movement that becomes controlling. It requires discernment for sure.
-Interesting that the ICKSP is spiritually Salesian, and obviously connected to the French school of spirituality some of which was a direct reaction to Jansenism.
-Jansenism and its excessive rigorism is precisely what de Sales fought against.
-There seems to be some Jansenism in the descriptions in this article.
But what really is Jansenism? It’s a bit of a mushy term.
Pillar explainer...?
real Jansenism has never been tried
Not even by Jansen, though Port Royal gave it a good try.
Assuming that the allegations are true and that the reporting is accurate, there is much here that infuriates. As someone who has taught Spanish for over 35 years at the university level, I can say with full confidence that the lack of formal instruction in the French language coupled with the demand that the women, in isolation, teach themselves French from books and then speak exclusively in French in the community is, to put it mildly, unreasonable. That is not how any adult learns a language well. I am familiar with the sort of young woman who in good faith ends up in these types of situations, and I just would like to exhort parents not to raise compliant, submissive girls. Raise independent women who know their own value and will not allow themselves to be mistreated by anyone.
Good points!
Also, thanks for being my university Spanish teacher! Sorry I was such a crummy student.
I don't remember your performance being crummy! Maybe I wasn't at my best the semester(s) you had me, either.
When I came to class, I'm sure I was delightful company.
But I didn't come with my homework done, I can assure you that much.
Not totally related to the article, but I listened to this article being read. Is this feature an AI generated voice? I ask because at one point “Saint Francis Delaware Sales” was mentioned.
I would like to know because I despise the use of AI and will not use this feature in the future if it is AI.
It is an AI feature. Where was it offered to you, in the substack app?
We sometimes record articles for reading aloud, but not this one.
Yes it was offered in the app. I didn’t recognize the voice so I wondered. Next time I’ll just wait when I have time to read or listen if it’s one you all have recorded. Thanks for answering my question! This was such an important article. Will be praying for these women and following the story as it develops.
I'm looking into how we can turn this off.
ok but Francis Delaware Sales is funny, though
(I agree with you on AI though)
Oh definitely…I expect that one will stay with me for a while 🤣
ironically Delaware is the US headquarters of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, so maybe AI was throwing them a free plug haha
Thank you so much for covering this. For every religious community where the spiritual abuse is serious enough to burst to the surface and be acknowledged by the outside, there are several more where it is just serious enough to destroy lives but not serious enough to be believed over and against the smiling faces, zeal, and orthodoxy of the community. Please keep following this thread.
I had a taste of religious life as a postulant in a contemplative order.
The account in this article doesn’t surprise me.
Thank you Pillar team. This is why I subscribe. Keep at it and may God bless you all!
Thanks for publishing this! I've actually taken notes over the last few years on all the high-profile abuse cases you've covered (especially ones that began with coercion and manipulation in a spiritual direction setting) and noticed a number of common red flags. Without getting into any details publicly, I'll just say your reporting has helped me to help others in similar situations such as this article. So, thanks.
Dang. And that mother superior is not doing herself any favors by dismissing it all out of hand.
As a mother, assuming your children are liars/guilty until proven otherwise isn’t a good way to mother 😞
100%. Really proves the point of what is alleged.
The mother superior's response stood out to me as well; it was not surprising but somehow still shocking to read about her handwaving away these allegations after making few attempts to address the women themselves. It looked like a classic DARVO response.
I happen to know a young lady who had a similar experience with this order. You all may or may not have had her input for this. What happened to her matches so much of what is said here, unfortunately. How terrible.