Young adults flock to massive speed dating event at SEEK conference
Suitors lined up, knees were taken, roses were doled out.
No, this was not the plot line of the Bachelorette season premiere - it was the scene of more than 2,000 young Catholics gathering together for a massive speed dating event at the SEEK 25 conference in Salt Lake City, Utah.
(To clarify, the knee taken was not to propose, but just to compensate for an extensive height difference between one couple. )
Some participants were hoping to find love. Others were just looking to meet some new people.
And still others were there in an attempt to help break the world record for the largest speed dating event.
The record had recently been set by members of the Church of Latter Day Saints last August, when 2,060 individuals participated in a speed dating event at the Salt Lake City Convention Center.
The Jan. 4 event, organized by the Catholic dating app Candid, was advertised as an attempt to break the record.
They didn’t quite succeed - due to a technical error. Though organizers said there were more than 2,100 participants, not everyone scanned the QR code in the room, meaning the official count was not high enough to break the record with Guinness World Records.
But organizers and participants alike hailed the event as a success, saying it gave young Catholics a chance to connect and interact in a healthy, low-pressure environment - and for some lucky attendees, maybe a chance to meet their special someone.
A different kind of Catholic dating app
Launched in February 2024, Candid offers single Catholics the opportunity to meet each other virtually.
But the company is set apart from other dating apps in that it does not utilize a swiping method for an individual to show interest.
Instead, the app sets couples up on a face-to-face, virtual five-minute date. If the date goes well, a user can request the other’s contact information to communicate with the person further.
Co-founder Taylor O’Brien says that this model helps to promote authentic, intentional interactions.
“What we're trying to do with Candid is really promote real connections. We have dating apps. They're not going away. We live in a virtual world,” O’Brien told The Pillar. “We wanted to give Catholics an alternative to the swiping apps and make interactions more intentional.”
Candid regularly offers virtual speed dating events, held online, where individuals have the opportunity to meet a wide range of people over video calls.
“There's no hiding behind a profile. There's no hiding behind filtered photos; you just show up and encounter another brother or sister in Christ and have the opportunity to talk to them for five minutes,” O’Brien said. “Then, at the end of each date, if you would like to talk to them again, you just indicate that, and if both parties answer yes, then after the event, you are matched, and then you can communicate with that person further in Candid.”
Early last summer, O’Brien and Mariana Zayas, Candid’s other co-founder, knew that they wanted to attend the SEEK 25 conference.
But they wanted to do something special.
In conversations with FOCUS, Candid pitched the idea to try and break the world record for the largest speed dating event.
“We wanted to give Catholic singles an opportunity to meet each other that they wouldn't have had before,” O’Brien said. “We want to promote a little bit more intentionality than you get from swiping on a dating app.”
More than 3,500 people registered for the event - so many, in fact, that they were not all able to fit into the convention center room where it was held. Hundreds of people were turned away at the door, so as not to break the fire code.
The 2,100 people who managed to fit inside the room found that organizers had split the rows of chairs inside into a grid. Upon entrance, attendees were assigned to a particular grid location based on home region and age level.
Men and women alternated rows. When the time came, each man would turn around to talk with the woman seated behind him. After five minutes of conversation, the man would rotate one chair to the left and have another “date” with the woman to his right.
Questions and conversation topics ranged from a simple “Where are you from?” to “What are you looking for in a partner?”
In total, participants went on six “mini dates.” At the end of the event, they were invited to exchange contact information if they had taken particular interest in one of their “dates”.
When faced with the prospect of dating, young Catholics today navigate a complex arena.
Often individuals feel forced to the extremes, either to participate in a secular dating culture that emphasizes a hook-up mentality or delve into the Catholic dating scene, which often places undue pressure on the early stages of a relationship.
O’Brien acknowledged this strange reality, sharing that through its app and the speed dating event, Candid hopes to offer a low-pressure opportunity for single Catholics to meet others.
“We are advocates of pulling off the pressure, having a normal five-minute conversation with someone, and from there, deciding, do I want to talk to this person again? Yes or no?” O’Brien said. “We are not about people immediately asking, ‘Do I want to marry that person? Do I want them to meet my mother?’”
“Let’s just get back to having a normal face-to-face conversation and enjoying the gift of the other person.”
As the event approached, O’Brien shared with The Pillar that she hoped that single Catholics would realize that they are not alone.
“People that attend are going to see that they are not alone,” O’Brien said. “Often, the Catholic dating circle can feel really isolating, like there's no other single Catholics out there that are looking for the same thing we're looking for.”
“We have 3,500 single Catholics signed up for this event; if that doesn't show you that there are other people looking to date in the same way that you are and looking for a holy Catholic spouse, then I do not know what will.”
Meeting new people and (maybe) finding love
Leading up to the event, almost 3,000 people formed a long line, wrapping through the Salt Lake City convention center.
In it, hopeful romantics await their chance to find love.
Or at least meet some new people.
Some said they were participating in the event purely for the “meme” and to try to break the world record.
Others, like Sidney Schmidt, a sophomore at the University of Nebraska, shared that they just wanted to meet other young people that shared similar values.
“I thought it would be a really fun way to meet people because we all have the same values and stuff and there's people here from all over the country, and you never know who you might meet,” Schmidt told The Pillar.
Cooper Rury, a freshman at the University of Oklahoma, also hoped to meet young people that shared similar values to him.
“I thought it was a cool opportunity to meet some women of faith,” Rury told The Pillar. “I've had some relationships in the past that, if we had that baseline of having the same faith, having the same morals, it could have solved some issues.”
Young adults who spoke with The Pillar shared various levels of confidence that they would meet a significant other at the event - ranging from a “tiny glimmer of hope” to “high expectations.”
“I kind of am expecting to meet somebody here, but, I don't know, I'm just here for the event and to see what happens. The Lord will work out what he wants,” Schmidt said. “I am trying to keep my expectations at a medium level. I would say not too high that I will meet somebody but I don't want to be disappointed, but then if something good happens, then it's awesome.”
Cheyanne Hutchins too was placing her trust in the Lord, but she had slightly higher expectations than Schmidt.
“I think there's a good possibility that I meet somebody through the speed dating event,” Hutchins said. “But whatever the Lord wants will happen.”
Rury too was open to the Lord’s will, but unlike his female counterparts, he was a lot more reluctant to be actively searching for relationships.
“I know that there will be a lot of good options, but I'm not really sure I'm looking for a relationship right now,” Rury said. “But who knows, if the right partner comes through, then I might have to make something happen.”
“We will see.”
The Pillar was not able to reach any of the individuals after the event to follow up on whether it had met their expectations.
But some participants, like Eric Shininger, a freshman from the University of Toledo, were not even focused on trying to find a significant other.
Shininger said he just wanted an opportunity to practice talking to the opposite sex.
“I first thought the speed dating event was a joke, but then I realized this was real and thought that I needed to get myself out there to meet and talk to some women,” he told The Pillar.
“I have never dated anybody, and there is a part of me that is scared to talk to girls.”
Shininger is not alone in this fear. Over the course of the speed dating event, Margaret Maslow, a senior at the University of Mary, met three guys who all expressed concern and fear in talking with women.
“I talked to a couple guys who said, ‘I'm terrified of women’ and that this ‘is really uncomfortable’,” Maslow told The Pillar. “So I began talking with them, asking them, ‘Where does this fear come from?’”
“I'm not uncomfortable talking to guys, so I just told myself that I'll carry this burden and that there are no expectations for me; I am just here to help these guys.”
Valuable opportunities to interact
An event like the speed dating event is perfect for helping young men and women learn how to talk with one another, says Dr. Mario Sacasa, a licensed marriage therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, who hosts the podcast Always Hope and travels the country speaking about dating and marriage.
“This speed dating event can help guys just get some reps in for learning how to talk to women that they're attracted to,” Sacasa told The Pillar.
“If you can help a guy develop that skill, even if he doesn't meet his wife today, what you're doing is you're having some foundational conversational skills that will allow that encounter to actually move him when he meets the woman that he is supposed to marry.”
When he heard about the speed dating event, Sacasa knew that he had to poke his head in and watch the event unfold.
“I think Candid is really trying to break the mold and attempting to find the gap between people who don't have enough potential dates in their geographic region but then don't feel comfortable going on dating apps, or maybe they've tried dating apps and have been burned by them, whether they're Catholic ones or secular ones,” Sacasa said.
“Speed dating gives another opportunity to connect with people in a real low commitment environment, which I think is the place we have to reclaim in Catholic dating.”
Sarcasa noted that mass speed dating events can pose challenges, such as disappointment among people who don’t find a match, the temptation to “trivialize the whole encounter with another person,” and the need to promote chastity over hook ups.
As a whole, though, Sarcasa praised the event and suggested that young Catholics could benefit from having more opportunities like this.
“I think that we just want and need to encourage young people to be interacting and conversing again,” Sarcasa said. “The art of conversation face-to-face and not through a medium has been lost; knowing how to be able to have a conversation again is something that we need.”
“I think if something like this speed dating event forces that, it can help turn the needle in the right direction.”
A positive experience
Ultimately, O’Brien told The Pillar she believes the event was successful.
“Everyone seemed to have a great time, a great attitude coming out of the speed dating event,” she said. “We saw numbers being exchanged; we saw smiles and laughter, so I think that means they had a nice time.”
Many of the participants who spoke to The Pillar after the event said they had exchanged contact information with at least one person that they met.
Madelyn Rautmann, a freshman at the University of Wisconsin, Stevens Point, attended the speed dating event with two friends. Going in, she didn’t expect to meet anybody she would keep in touch with. But after having a good conversation, she decided to exchange contact information with one young man.
“I did exchange information with one guy. We may talk for a little bit, but I don't see it going that far into the future,” Rautmann told The Pillar.
Still, she did have a fun time at the event and was glad that she attended.
“I think that it's so great for this Catholic speed dating event to be put on this, because I think it's really hard to find other Catholics out there,” Rautman said. “It is hard to know who shares the same values as you do.”
Other participants agreed, telling The Pillar that while they were returning to their college campuses single, it was a positive experience to meet likeminded individuals.
And some participants did walk away with connections they hope to pursue.
William Pulte, a sophomore at Deane University, ended up sharing his profile on the photo app Snapchat with two women he had met at the event, both of whom live within an hour's drive of his university.
“I got two snapchats,” Pulte told The Pillar. “I will at least snap them once in a while. They are both local people and are within an hour drive, so I think that it will be worth it.”
Editor’s note: As nearly 20,000 Catholics — mostly students — gather at SEEK, a massive conference sponsored by campus ministry apostolate FOCUS, The Pillar will feature reporting from Catholic student journalist Jack Figge, who is serving as a ground-level correspondent at the event.
I was a participant! It was very chaotic and the organizers seemed a bit overwhelmed by the massive turnout. By next year, I’m hopeful it will be a well oiled machine. 99% of attendees are called to the married life, not religious life, and yet the vast majority of vocational exhibitors at Seek are religious orders. This was the only experience really focused on practical support to discernment of the 99% vocation! Hopefully next year they’ll break it up by regions or ages over several days, and offer a few more age brackets for Young Professionals (23-35 is just too broad).
In my youth we used to go out in mixed groups of 10 or 20, so that people could get to know each other as part of a group and if they wanted to get to know each other better they were already friends so it was easier to talk to each other.