The Cleveland Diocese is in the midst of a fund-raising campaign to improve the Seminary which, apparently, is old and needs to be updated. This story and other recent improprieties clearly show they have to do a MUCH better job at filtering these guys away from the priesthood before they have a change to abuse their position to hurt others.
As a cradle Catholic who was raised to venerate priests, and grew up with many visiting priests over the years, it is so difficult to read accounts like this. But necessary. Thanks to the family for the courage to tell their story and for keeping the faith through such a horrific encounter with evil. The devil’s goal is to drive people away from the Church, as evidenced in the recent Pillar survey. My prayers go out to the family and the Church.
God bless this family. Wow. God bless this mom. I love her so much she just wants her son to feel peaceful to go to Mass and be with Jesus... that is always what I feel for abuse victims because so many are so hurt and have feelings of aversion and God loves them and I and others want to be united with them in the Eucharist. God bless her sons. I am a catechist and have also told kids not only "don't look at pictures of naked people" but "don't take naked pictures"... it feels like such a weird, gross thing to say since a lot of kids would NOT think of something like that (this boy victimized by Fr McWilliams didn't plan on it either till a wrongful request was made), but that boy's words make me feel I should say that to this year's class (middle schoolers) when we have our "safe environment lesson." you don't want to suggest things to kids' minds. God bless the writer of this article too, it is so sensitively written that it would not harm children I don't think. It's a painful story, I cried, but what I mean is it avoids gratuitous detail.
I think you should mention it to your kids, as sad as that is. I’m a mom of 7 and 5 year olds, and as they start to use technology more I know I will have to tell them that someday someone may make this type of request, and why it’s so important to not do it and to come to me immediately.
A resource for you or any parents reading this - Kidpower. They have safety comics for kids (all kinds of safety and tricky social situations, not just sexual or online). I particularly like their “Protection Promise”, which I read to my kids now and then:
“You are VERY important to me. If you have a safety problem, I want to know. Even if I seem too busy. Even if someone we care about will be upset. Even if it is embarrassing. Even if you promised not to tell. Even if you made a mistake. Please tell me, and I will do everything in my power to help you.” I think I read this somewhere else, but it’s good to add: “It’s never too late to tell.”
I would recommend "I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private" for younger kids.
Kindergarteners are given ipads with cameras these days, so it is necessary to teach young kids about privacy and pictures. Not taking naked pictures can be taught the same way you teach kids to close the bathroom door....bodies are meant to be private, but electronics are never, ever private. Not all pictures are appropriate....I don't want your teacher to see me in my pajamas.
For middle school, I'd recommend, "Don't take any pictures that you wouldn't want your mom to see." Those kids should also know that an email can divulge your address. Images shared online are permanent. Online friends should always be real life friends. Sometimes bad people pretend to be kids on the internet. Get your parents if you see naked pictures on the internet (the average age that kids are exposed to porn on the internet is nine or something else ridiculously young).
I would hope that your diocese already has premade lesson plans like that for its Catholic school students. And if it doesn't, it really should.
So sad that this man has made such a wonderful kindness of inviting a priest to your home and to include them in family events into a suspicious activity that should be monitored. Bring a priest who can barely leave his rectory or is never invited to meet parishioners leads to a pretty sad lonely life.
Unfortunately, it’s necessary as they can’t be trusted otherwise. When every single church has a predator and none of the other priests are willing to speak out before or after a child is molested and/or raped, you lose the privilege of dining with parishioners. Or, at least you should. While the church figures out the problem on their end (or refuses to), I hope more families don’t put their children at risk by allowing a priest into their home. Let this be the lesson learned.
My brother is a priest. He's out and about a lot more than I am. Anointing the sick and visiting shut-ins and the hospitalized, mostly. He used to go bowling with his friends every week, but since covid they don't go any more and a lot of them have died. And of course now that one of his three parishes lost its church in the tornado, in the winter when they can't just have Mass outside, I'm sure he's even busier.
Thank God for The Pillar. Excruciatingly tough to read, and I'll need some extra prayer time to keep this anger from festering into hatred, but we absolutely need these stories told because otherwise nothing will change. Along with the direct victims, I pray especially for all the good priests who will forever fall under our suspicion because how in the world can we trust seminaries that are still letting guys like this slip through.
I have no love for the beaurocratic mess that is diocesan offices and seminaries, but what would you propose they do to not let guys like this slip through? Should all seminarians be under 24/7 video surveillance? Should seminarians be forbidden from having cell phones? Sociopaths are going to be sociopathic. There is not some seminary program that a sociopath could not make it through, though the dysfunctional nature of modern seminaries often does prevent normal men from making it through, and especially prevents the sort of unusual man who might be a very good priest from making it through. Sociopaths are not going to struggle with the Kafka-esque rules.
His entire Instagram was filled with photos of him with children. Every single photo was of him with children. I screenshotted all of the photos in case this were brushed under the rug. This was a red flag. Are you aware of any priests with Instagram? If so, are the posting pictures of other people’s children? Start there. Screen the computers and hold each other accountable. Is it too much to ask that a priest have NO contact with children without parents in the room? I’m almost never alone with children and when I am with my mentee, we don’t go to the bathroom together and we have a third party resource check in with both parties to make sure no funny business occurs because….people who are mentors can/do abuse children and a system of checks and balances is crucial. I have 50,000,000 more ideas for how this could be prevented. Would love to chat! Let me know if you’re part of the solution or you don’t want to take any responsibility for rapists molesting children while serving in a role that should have a disproportionately low level of child predators due to the sacred nature. I found it literally horrifying and reprehensible that you don’t believe anything could have been done here. This is why people think all priests are predators - because they’re not doing anything to stop child predators.
How is there not a person who appoints relationships and monitors? You’re just allowed to have a grown man mentor a freaking child without any authority figure monitoring the situation?! How is that even happening?! How is no third party unrelated person monitoring these situations?! Every priest needs to come forward to an external agency about who they are mentoring and then that agency should be doing regular wellness checks. I can’t even believe this is allowed to happen.
I think seminarians should not be allowed to have smart phones - they can use a basic phone for communication. They also should only use computers in public areas and not in their rooms.
Will this just be a rule for seminarians or will it be a rule for all adults 18-26? When they are home for summer break will they be allowed to use their mother's phones? When they graduate, the new priests will have phones again after not having them for 8 years?
Either you think no one should have smart phones (perhaps true but not going to happen) or you think that seminarians should live a completely different life from the rest of society, treated like small children. This is an error. They should be treated like the adult men they are, including with responsibilities.
I realize I'm going to sound like a Baptist street preacher here, but I think we need to reckon with the fact that smartphones are a source of evil and temptation for everyone. This is not only because of their access to pornography and their ability to defeat content filters - they tempt narcissists to overshare on social media, or engage angrily over politics on Twitter, or spend too much time consuming news or entertainment or gaming or whatever. Many people in the religious state make heroic, unusual sacrifices - maybe priests and seminarians should consider being a sign of contradiction and eschewing smartphones?
You are right that smartphones are more problematic than many people are willing to admit, but they are still widely used because they are so useful. They also are not worse than a modern laptop which is a tablet. The problem is more the internet than the device. Should priests be absent from the internet? In our day that is like suggesting that priests be absent from most of people's lives.
In the Catholic Church we have always had the distinction between religious and secular priests. There are monks who do not use the internet. There are Franciscans who do not have phones. Perhaps a new religious order should start based clearly around principles of internet use. But secular priests are going to for the most part live the lives of their parishioners. We do not marry. We live on smaller incomes. We move whenever we are told to. But otherwise our lives are supposed to be more or less the same as a lay Catholic so that people do not have to climb mountains to attend Mass in monasteries.
Part of the answer is for people to not idealize a priest. Do not think that every young priest and seminarian is both a saint and a doctor of the Church whose every word is Gospel. Idealize the office, and therefore help young priests to live up to their high calling, but realize that they are sinful humans who will fail (I am not speaking of the spiritually dead like this monster, but all priests are sinners.)
Many faithful Catholic families hold two contradictory opinions: their sons are all addicted to pornography because almost all young men are today and the young seminarian is not. Sadly, when the entire culture has gone insane, the young men coming into seminary are not an exception. They struggle with the same sins that every Catholic teenager in the era of social media struggles with. The propadeutic year, if done properly could help with this, but Catholic families should see in seminarians young men who are trying to follow a call but who are not fundamentally different than their own sons.
Father thank you -- especially that last paragraph. They are our sons, from our families! So it doesn't help them (or priests) to be idealized, but also as parents to not be so suspicious either, because that presumption about all our sons being addicted can be damaging, too. Striking a balance is difficult for a layperson sometimes.
Please let's not forget how our leaders treated this family. Seminary does have issues. Did this priest go to seminary with the same priest that had the naked picture taking thing going on with seminarians? Northern Ohio has had a few cases in the past couple years. Troubling cases.
When I taught CCD there was a simple rule. You must always have two teachers in each classroom. Most people who abuse children are going to do it when they are alone with the children, although this story proves that's not always the case. Nonetheless, it's a useful rule to have.
I also want to add that I agree with your statement that "sociopaths are going to be sociopathic" and that no screening program will ever be 100% perfect.
Do you really want to know what is preventing some seminarians from becoming priests? They're being told that obedience to their superiors is more important than their legal obligation to report child abuse. I heard that second hand, obviously.
The younger generation is accustomed to reports of their electronic activities being sent to teachers, principals, and parents. I get reports for each one of my kids. And I like it that way. It helps me protect them. Your search history is certainly not private from your employer. Cell phones included.
You type in "what is a furry?" to the computer, and guess what the internet tells me?
"Typically refers to a person that is interested in animals with human traits, non-sexually or sexually"
That's all you need....red flag. It sounds like this particular sociopath could have been stopped a lot earlier with a modicum of effort.
It is so tragic to hear that the church continues to ignore this family who saved hundreds of children from being abused by this young priest. There needs to be reform in our church. No priest should EVER be alone with a child. No priest should be allowed at recess. There needs to be regular phone checks and screening for apps like the one used by McWilliams. This needs to be conducted by third party resources who can be trusted. There should be no on-going friendships at this level within priesthood. Every single church that my family or I have attended has a priest whose abused a child. Every single church. It’s hard to continue to walk in faith when the church refuses to take extreme measures and demand reform. Every single priest whose not demanding change behind the scenes is as guilty as McWilliams. The lack of accountability will undoubtedly lead to the demise of the church. I feel empathy for the whole family and especially Joseph in this situation. I hope he is not forced to forgive prior to being ready to do so (if/when that time comes) and I hope that’s not used to further manipulate him into not filing a lawsuit against the church for their culpability in this crime. Tragic all around.
Thank you for this, JD. This is very important reporting, and empowers parents to protect our children- in the “Safe Environment” trainings I’ve attended, it seemed that the emphasis was really on protecting very young children. As we are seeing more and more, we have to be vigilant with our older kids too, especially when technology is in the picture. This kind of story is so helpful- and thank you for presenting it so sensitively for us as readers and for the family involved.
1. I'm thankful this story is coming to light. If we don't think these sorts of abuse and blackmail are possible, even among priests, we won't be able to guard against them.
2. The mother's faith is admirable. She also put forth good suggestions for changes in the seminary. May God shower many blessings on her and her family.
3. I'll continue to invite my priests to dinner with my family. I still think doing so is both good for my family and good for the priests. I think God wills for my family to learn lessons from the story, but I don't think He wills for us to exclude all priests from my family life. As the mother said, "Fr. Bobby is not most priests." We just need to remember that priests are human beings, and we human beings are, with very few exceptions, mixed bags.
I think there's a difference between friendship with priests, and the level of intimacy sought by this Fr Bobby. It should be a red flag if a seminarian or a priest is seeking that level of closeness, which it seems they realized in hindsight. And, it should be an additional red flag if a seminarian or priest doesn't realize that it's inappropriate to build those kind of intimate relationships.
One other thing. On that meeting with Abp Perez...
I'm imagining St. Peter, after Pentecost, having received the gift of tongues etc., telling the Holy Spirit, "Wait wait wait let me check with my attorney before talking to this crowd. Better yet, let my attorney talk with the crowd first so they can know what they can say to me and what they can't." Holy Spirit's response: *Face palm*
Now, I don't know Abp. Perez...maybe he's fine...but as the expression goes, "c'mon bro"...
(Oh, and I just saw Sara's reply. I totally agree with you.)
If it were your children who were molested, none of these priests who are the “rule” vs the “exception” would even talk to you, let alone sit down for dinner at your house. While every church I’ve ever attended (not even belonged to but attended), has had a child sex abuse scandal, the countless priests like the one on this thread who completely disregard any culpability are overlooking glaringly obvious red flags. Invite these fine men to dine with you.
The lack of acknowledgment here and continual disregard for basic protection of our children is pushing so many people out of the church for good.
Correct. I seriously question those that want to defend the structure in place at this time. We can no longer accept a "bad apple" theory. No. The structure and systems in place are allowing this to happen, be covered up and then our parish pastors are given the job to distract, deflect and sweep it under the rug and get the bus back on the road.
Just keep in mind that it is your responsibility to protect your children. The Church will not do that for you. I would recommend at the minimum running a thorough Google search on every priest you encounter. It keeps the good bishops from moving around priests with criminal histories that don't quite get them kicked out of the priesthood (eg the young man solicited was 18). If you background check your babysitter, you should background check your priest.
I’m a faithful catholic. A sinner by nature, but faithful none the less. Isn’t it unreasonable & unnatural to ask our priests to be celebrate? Isn’t that the foundation of all this disfunction? It appears to me that this code of silence is easily perpetuated due to a general disregard of any sexual preferences. I’m not a alarmist, but the church I’d failing in so many ways. Where are the future priests when we demand unhealthy and destructive vows?
"Isn’t that [celibacy] the foundation of all this disfunction?" This is a question worth asking, and answering. I'd say the foundation for the dysfunction is more general: the effects of original sin. Our nature is screwy, right out of the box. Jesus came to save and heal, but we don't always respond well to him.
"Give the pedophiles a wife, that'll fix them!" I once heard someone (sarcastically) say. I doubt a wife would have fixed McMillan's "problems"...or appreciated them much, either.
Celibacy is, I imagine, difficult, and it requires God's grace to live out. But as a married man, I can attest to the fact that marriage does not correct aberrant sexual inclinations. I still get tugged in different directions, and it takes effort and grace to stay on track. As for the benefits of celibacy, perhaps you could ask any good priest you know about the fruits of celibacy. I could try, but I'm just a dad, and I need to go to sleep.
Another note is that dads are statistically more likely to be child abusers than priests are, and therefore marriage doesn't seem to be the remedy we might imagine it to be.
May God bless and heal this precious family of whom you write, and bless and heal all people who have endured such horrific behavior from those they thought they could trust. May God also give the grace of life-giving repentance to all such perpetrators and those who hid their actions.
“Mrs. Christopher”, God bless her and her family!, repeats something I have heard other Catholic Christians repeat over and over again that needs to be corrected - that “the Catholic Church is the only Church with the seven sacraments”.
The Catholic Church recognizes the validity of all seven of the Sacraments of the Eastern Orthodox Church. When the Church, founded on the Rock of Peter’s confession: "15 Jesus said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16 Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Matthew 16: 15-16, RSVCE, we (Orthodox Christians and Catholic Christians) were one. Both churches still have seven valid sacraments. Perhaps Eastern Orthodoxy may prove to be a healing remedy for people who have been wounded severely within the Catholic Church, but who long for the Eucharist and a sacramental life, while realizing every church or ecclesial community that has human beings as members will still have within it sinners of every kind.
May God have mercy on us all, and give us all the grace to trust Him more and bring all of our darknesses to His light. No more hiding and not addressing the evil within PLEASE.
The Cleveland Diocese is in the midst of a fund-raising campaign to improve the Seminary which, apparently, is old and needs to be updated. This story and other recent improprieties clearly show they have to do a MUCH better job at filtering these guys away from the priesthood before they have a change to abuse their position to hurt others.
As a cradle Catholic who was raised to venerate priests, and grew up with many visiting priests over the years, it is so difficult to read accounts like this. But necessary. Thanks to the family for the courage to tell their story and for keeping the faith through such a horrific encounter with evil. The devil’s goal is to drive people away from the Church, as evidenced in the recent Pillar survey. My prayers go out to the family and the Church.
God bless this family. Wow. God bless this mom. I love her so much she just wants her son to feel peaceful to go to Mass and be with Jesus... that is always what I feel for abuse victims because so many are so hurt and have feelings of aversion and God loves them and I and others want to be united with them in the Eucharist. God bless her sons. I am a catechist and have also told kids not only "don't look at pictures of naked people" but "don't take naked pictures"... it feels like such a weird, gross thing to say since a lot of kids would NOT think of something like that (this boy victimized by Fr McWilliams didn't plan on it either till a wrongful request was made), but that boy's words make me feel I should say that to this year's class (middle schoolers) when we have our "safe environment lesson." you don't want to suggest things to kids' minds. God bless the writer of this article too, it is so sensitively written that it would not harm children I don't think. It's a painful story, I cried, but what I mean is it avoids gratuitous detail.
I think you should mention it to your kids, as sad as that is. I’m a mom of 7 and 5 year olds, and as they start to use technology more I know I will have to tell them that someday someone may make this type of request, and why it’s so important to not do it and to come to me immediately.
A resource for you or any parents reading this - Kidpower. They have safety comics for kids (all kinds of safety and tricky social situations, not just sexual or online). I particularly like their “Protection Promise”, which I read to my kids now and then:
“You are VERY important to me. If you have a safety problem, I want to know. Even if I seem too busy. Even if someone we care about will be upset. Even if it is embarrassing. Even if you promised not to tell. Even if you made a mistake. Please tell me, and I will do everything in my power to help you.” I think I read this somewhere else, but it’s good to add: “It’s never too late to tell.”
https://kidpowercs.org/books/kidpower-safety-comic-ages-3-10/
I would recommend "I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private" for younger kids.
Kindergarteners are given ipads with cameras these days, so it is necessary to teach young kids about privacy and pictures. Not taking naked pictures can be taught the same way you teach kids to close the bathroom door....bodies are meant to be private, but electronics are never, ever private. Not all pictures are appropriate....I don't want your teacher to see me in my pajamas.
For middle school, I'd recommend, "Don't take any pictures that you wouldn't want your mom to see." Those kids should also know that an email can divulge your address. Images shared online are permanent. Online friends should always be real life friends. Sometimes bad people pretend to be kids on the internet. Get your parents if you see naked pictures on the internet (the average age that kids are exposed to porn on the internet is nine or something else ridiculously young).
I would hope that your diocese already has premade lesson plans like that for its Catholic school students. And if it doesn't, it really should.
So sad that this man has made such a wonderful kindness of inviting a priest to your home and to include them in family events into a suspicious activity that should be monitored. Bring a priest who can barely leave his rectory or is never invited to meet parishioners leads to a pretty sad lonely life.
Unfortunately, it’s necessary as they can’t be trusted otherwise. When every single church has a predator and none of the other priests are willing to speak out before or after a child is molested and/or raped, you lose the privilege of dining with parishioners. Or, at least you should. While the church figures out the problem on their end (or refuses to), I hope more families don’t put their children at risk by allowing a priest into their home. Let this be the lesson learned.
My brother is a priest. He's out and about a lot more than I am. Anointing the sick and visiting shut-ins and the hospitalized, mostly. He used to go bowling with his friends every week, but since covid they don't go any more and a lot of them have died. And of course now that one of his three parishes lost its church in the tornado, in the winter when they can't just have Mass outside, I'm sure he's even busier.
Thank God for The Pillar. Excruciatingly tough to read, and I'll need some extra prayer time to keep this anger from festering into hatred, but we absolutely need these stories told because otherwise nothing will change. Along with the direct victims, I pray especially for all the good priests who will forever fall under our suspicion because how in the world can we trust seminaries that are still letting guys like this slip through.
I have no love for the beaurocratic mess that is diocesan offices and seminaries, but what would you propose they do to not let guys like this slip through? Should all seminarians be under 24/7 video surveillance? Should seminarians be forbidden from having cell phones? Sociopaths are going to be sociopathic. There is not some seminary program that a sociopath could not make it through, though the dysfunctional nature of modern seminaries often does prevent normal men from making it through, and especially prevents the sort of unusual man who might be a very good priest from making it through. Sociopaths are not going to struggle with the Kafka-esque rules.
His entire Instagram was filled with photos of him with children. Every single photo was of him with children. I screenshotted all of the photos in case this were brushed under the rug. This was a red flag. Are you aware of any priests with Instagram? If so, are the posting pictures of other people’s children? Start there. Screen the computers and hold each other accountable. Is it too much to ask that a priest have NO contact with children without parents in the room? I’m almost never alone with children and when I am with my mentee, we don’t go to the bathroom together and we have a third party resource check in with both parties to make sure no funny business occurs because….people who are mentors can/do abuse children and a system of checks and balances is crucial. I have 50,000,000 more ideas for how this could be prevented. Would love to chat! Let me know if you’re part of the solution or you don’t want to take any responsibility for rapists molesting children while serving in a role that should have a disproportionately low level of child predators due to the sacred nature. I found it literally horrifying and reprehensible that you don’t believe anything could have been done here. This is why people think all priests are predators - because they’re not doing anything to stop child predators.
How is there not a person who appoints relationships and monitors? You’re just allowed to have a grown man mentor a freaking child without any authority figure monitoring the situation?! How is that even happening?! How is no third party unrelated person monitoring these situations?! Every priest needs to come forward to an external agency about who they are mentoring and then that agency should be doing regular wellness checks. I can’t even believe this is allowed to happen.
I think seminarians should not be allowed to have smart phones - they can use a basic phone for communication. They also should only use computers in public areas and not in their rooms.
Will this just be a rule for seminarians or will it be a rule for all adults 18-26? When they are home for summer break will they be allowed to use their mother's phones? When they graduate, the new priests will have phones again after not having them for 8 years?
Either you think no one should have smart phones (perhaps true but not going to happen) or you think that seminarians should live a completely different life from the rest of society, treated like small children. This is an error. They should be treated like the adult men they are, including with responsibilities.
I realize I'm going to sound like a Baptist street preacher here, but I think we need to reckon with the fact that smartphones are a source of evil and temptation for everyone. This is not only because of their access to pornography and their ability to defeat content filters - they tempt narcissists to overshare on social media, or engage angrily over politics on Twitter, or spend too much time consuming news or entertainment or gaming or whatever. Many people in the religious state make heroic, unusual sacrifices - maybe priests and seminarians should consider being a sign of contradiction and eschewing smartphones?
You are right that smartphones are more problematic than many people are willing to admit, but they are still widely used because they are so useful. They also are not worse than a modern laptop which is a tablet. The problem is more the internet than the device. Should priests be absent from the internet? In our day that is like suggesting that priests be absent from most of people's lives.
In the Catholic Church we have always had the distinction between religious and secular priests. There are monks who do not use the internet. There are Franciscans who do not have phones. Perhaps a new religious order should start based clearly around principles of internet use. But secular priests are going to for the most part live the lives of their parishioners. We do not marry. We live on smaller incomes. We move whenever we are told to. But otherwise our lives are supposed to be more or less the same as a lay Catholic so that people do not have to climb mountains to attend Mass in monasteries.
Part of the answer is for people to not idealize a priest. Do not think that every young priest and seminarian is both a saint and a doctor of the Church whose every word is Gospel. Idealize the office, and therefore help young priests to live up to their high calling, but realize that they are sinful humans who will fail (I am not speaking of the spiritually dead like this monster, but all priests are sinners.)
Many faithful Catholic families hold two contradictory opinions: their sons are all addicted to pornography because almost all young men are today and the young seminarian is not. Sadly, when the entire culture has gone insane, the young men coming into seminary are not an exception. They struggle with the same sins that every Catholic teenager in the era of social media struggles with. The propadeutic year, if done properly could help with this, but Catholic families should see in seminarians young men who are trying to follow a call but who are not fundamentally different than their own sons.
Father thank you -- especially that last paragraph. They are our sons, from our families! So it doesn't help them (or priests) to be idealized, but also as parents to not be so suspicious either, because that presumption about all our sons being addicted can be damaging, too. Striking a balance is difficult for a layperson sometimes.
Please let's not forget how our leaders treated this family. Seminary does have issues. Did this priest go to seminary with the same priest that had the naked picture taking thing going on with seminarians? Northern Ohio has had a few cases in the past couple years. Troubling cases.
When I taught CCD there was a simple rule. You must always have two teachers in each classroom. Most people who abuse children are going to do it when they are alone with the children, although this story proves that's not always the case. Nonetheless, it's a useful rule to have.
Amen
I also want to add that I agree with your statement that "sociopaths are going to be sociopathic" and that no screening program will ever be 100% perfect.
Do you really want to know what is preventing some seminarians from becoming priests? They're being told that obedience to their superiors is more important than their legal obligation to report child abuse. I heard that second hand, obviously.
The younger generation is accustomed to reports of their electronic activities being sent to teachers, principals, and parents. I get reports for each one of my kids. And I like it that way. It helps me protect them. Your search history is certainly not private from your employer. Cell phones included.
You type in "what is a furry?" to the computer, and guess what the internet tells me?
"Typically refers to a person that is interested in animals with human traits, non-sexually or sexually"
That's all you need....red flag. It sounds like this particular sociopath could have been stopped a lot earlier with a modicum of effort.
Thank you for telling this family's story. I so admire this mother and her faith!
We all need to pray for the victims and their families.
It is so tragic to hear that the church continues to ignore this family who saved hundreds of children from being abused by this young priest. There needs to be reform in our church. No priest should EVER be alone with a child. No priest should be allowed at recess. There needs to be regular phone checks and screening for apps like the one used by McWilliams. This needs to be conducted by third party resources who can be trusted. There should be no on-going friendships at this level within priesthood. Every single church that my family or I have attended has a priest whose abused a child. Every single church. It’s hard to continue to walk in faith when the church refuses to take extreme measures and demand reform. Every single priest whose not demanding change behind the scenes is as guilty as McWilliams. The lack of accountability will undoubtedly lead to the demise of the church. I feel empathy for the whole family and especially Joseph in this situation. I hope he is not forced to forgive prior to being ready to do so (if/when that time comes) and I hope that’s not used to further manipulate him into not filing a lawsuit against the church for their culpability in this crime. Tragic all around.
Honestly, I think this family would do the Church a favor if they pursued a lawsuit. Accountability is needed.
Thank you for this, JD. This is very important reporting, and empowers parents to protect our children- in the “Safe Environment” trainings I’ve attended, it seemed that the emphasis was really on protecting very young children. As we are seeing more and more, we have to be vigilant with our older kids too, especially when technology is in the picture. This kind of story is so helpful- and thank you for presenting it so sensitively for us as readers and for the family involved.
I too am so thankful for this reporting for many reasons!
Thank you for this honest reporting and God bless this mom and family, and thank you, St. Michael.
1. I'm thankful this story is coming to light. If we don't think these sorts of abuse and blackmail are possible, even among priests, we won't be able to guard against them.
2. The mother's faith is admirable. She also put forth good suggestions for changes in the seminary. May God shower many blessings on her and her family.
3. I'll continue to invite my priests to dinner with my family. I still think doing so is both good for my family and good for the priests. I think God wills for my family to learn lessons from the story, but I don't think He wills for us to exclude all priests from my family life. As the mother said, "Fr. Bobby is not most priests." We just need to remember that priests are human beings, and we human beings are, with very few exceptions, mixed bags.
I think there's a difference between friendship with priests, and the level of intimacy sought by this Fr Bobby. It should be a red flag if a seminarian or a priest is seeking that level of closeness, which it seems they realized in hindsight. And, it should be an additional red flag if a seminarian or priest doesn't realize that it's inappropriate to build those kind of intimate relationships.
One other thing. On that meeting with Abp Perez...
I'm imagining St. Peter, after Pentecost, having received the gift of tongues etc., telling the Holy Spirit, "Wait wait wait let me check with my attorney before talking to this crowd. Better yet, let my attorney talk with the crowd first so they can know what they can say to me and what they can't." Holy Spirit's response: *Face palm*
Now, I don't know Abp. Perez...maybe he's fine...but as the expression goes, "c'mon bro"...
(Oh, and I just saw Sara's reply. I totally agree with you.)
If it were your children who were molested, none of these priests who are the “rule” vs the “exception” would even talk to you, let alone sit down for dinner at your house. While every church I’ve ever attended (not even belonged to but attended), has had a child sex abuse scandal, the countless priests like the one on this thread who completely disregard any culpability are overlooking glaringly obvious red flags. Invite these fine men to dine with you.
The lack of acknowledgment here and continual disregard for basic protection of our children is pushing so many people out of the church for good.
Correct. I seriously question those that want to defend the structure in place at this time. We can no longer accept a "bad apple" theory. No. The structure and systems in place are allowing this to happen, be covered up and then our parish pastors are given the job to distract, deflect and sweep it under the rug and get the bus back on the road.
Just keep in mind that it is your responsibility to protect your children. The Church will not do that for you. I would recommend at the minimum running a thorough Google search on every priest you encounter. It keeps the good bishops from moving around priests with criminal histories that don't quite get them kicked out of the priesthood (eg the young man solicited was 18). If you background check your babysitter, you should background check your priest.
I’m a faithful catholic. A sinner by nature, but faithful none the less. Isn’t it unreasonable & unnatural to ask our priests to be celebrate? Isn’t that the foundation of all this disfunction? It appears to me that this code of silence is easily perpetuated due to a general disregard of any sexual preferences. I’m not a alarmist, but the church I’d failing in so many ways. Where are the future priests when we demand unhealthy and destructive vows?
"Isn’t that [celibacy] the foundation of all this disfunction?" This is a question worth asking, and answering. I'd say the foundation for the dysfunction is more general: the effects of original sin. Our nature is screwy, right out of the box. Jesus came to save and heal, but we don't always respond well to him.
"Give the pedophiles a wife, that'll fix them!" I once heard someone (sarcastically) say. I doubt a wife would have fixed McMillan's "problems"...or appreciated them much, either.
Celibacy is, I imagine, difficult, and it requires God's grace to live out. But as a married man, I can attest to the fact that marriage does not correct aberrant sexual inclinations. I still get tugged in different directions, and it takes effort and grace to stay on track. As for the benefits of celibacy, perhaps you could ask any good priest you know about the fruits of celibacy. I could try, but I'm just a dad, and I need to go to sleep.
Another note is that dads are statistically more likely to be child abusers than priests are, and therefore marriage doesn't seem to be the remedy we might imagine it to be.
How, can we get the good and holy priests to come forward, to join with others and make a statement for change?
May God bless and heal this precious family of whom you write, and bless and heal all people who have endured such horrific behavior from those they thought they could trust. May God also give the grace of life-giving repentance to all such perpetrators and those who hid their actions.
“Mrs. Christopher”, God bless her and her family!, repeats something I have heard other Catholic Christians repeat over and over again that needs to be corrected - that “the Catholic Church is the only Church with the seven sacraments”.
The Catholic Church recognizes the validity of all seven of the Sacraments of the Eastern Orthodox Church. When the Church, founded on the Rock of Peter’s confession: "15 Jesus said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16 Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Matthew 16: 15-16, RSVCE, we (Orthodox Christians and Catholic Christians) were one. Both churches still have seven valid sacraments. Perhaps Eastern Orthodoxy may prove to be a healing remedy for people who have been wounded severely within the Catholic Church, but who long for the Eucharist and a sacramental life, while realizing every church or ecclesial community that has human beings as members will still have within it sinners of every kind.
May God have mercy on us all, and give us all the grace to trust Him more and bring all of our darknesses to His light. No more hiding and not addressing the evil within PLEASE.